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COUGAR MEDICINE AT PLAY
By CinnamonMoon

Well it's nice to see her back in the forefront again, I do love Cougar's style. Someone very close
to me is transitioning back to their relationship with Spirit; struggling to find that level of trust on
the interactive portion. Cougar has stepped up to lead by example and point out to me that simply
by demonstrating my own faith I am showing the way to them finding theirs. Now this is
happening with several others too at the moment, in my personal life, in my career with clients,
and into family issues too. I'm chuckling at the independence of that example being of such
widespread use all at once.

While Cougar teaches us many things, leadership by example is her strength. For those of you
who walk with Cougar, I'm wondering if you have any stories to share along this line? I feel it's
an important lesson. It demonstrates tolerance for the paths of others, getting out of their way so
they can learn for themselves in and of own their experiences. It becomes an unobtrusive light in
the darkness when they are lost and wandering to see that kind of confidence in others. It gives
them a curiosity to know more and aren't Cat's the most inquisitive creatures? Aren't they the
most independent spirits? And don't they move silently through our lives teaching us how to
stalk that which we seek the most?

How has Cougar used you to demonstrate leadership to others by your example? I am just
thoroughly enjoying sharing my faith and relationship with Spirit like this. It's helping me see
how. with this perspective, I can help others find their own curiosity to know more and suggest
through that demonstration that they may find something of interest if they pursue that
knowledge...And all without having to say a word about what they should, could, or would need
to do so. What can you share with us about how Cougar moves through you?

Wildlite:
Cougar is a creature close to my heart, and she has shown me the strength that lays in harmony.
I don't like confrontation simply because I know that my opinion is just that...MY opinion, and
not always right (and I've learned than very often I'm wrong! ). I think in leading by example we
lead by results rather than opinion. In any case, what we feel is right, may only be half right, and
in leading by example you encourage others to experiment with in those results rather than by
instruction. I think in doing so, others learn so much more from themselves than you could ever
tell them.

I believe in a synchronized universe, and that when someone is ready to grow that they will know
and want to grow. I personally believe that by leading by example rather than opinion is
remaining true to Spirits timing...and who knows, you may even be helping someone else in the
process and not even know it!

My father has always lead by example, and when I was younger...when I "knew everything" if
someone told me what to do it rubbed me the wrong way, but I always looked at WHY someone
was successful in...whatever. As a child the way in which we learn, before we even know how to
speak is to watch and copy, so I guess this is a pretty effective way of learning!

I think that Spirit has even shown me how to lead myself by example...usually, you just gotta get
up and make it work! It's ultimately the most effective way of learning!

I can also say, that I personally have learned a lot from my mistakes which makes that unique to
my life, my upbringing and my personality. And quite often the results from these lessons have
taught me other things which I would never have learned otherwise...and I would never want to
hold that back from anyone! My two pence for ya!

Mouse:
Even as a toddler I did things my own way. Not out of rebellion or recalcitrance... I would just
look at my mother and say firmly but kindly "I don't want *anything*" when she tried to coax me
off my chosen mission with some activity or treat.

I'm a bit of a source of amusement in my circle of friends... they try to anticipate how I will react
this time, and they're often still way off. I don't do things differently to hurt them or to reject their
ways or to be rebellious... I just can't do them any other way than how it feels right to me. Once I
follow that, doors just open; I don't have to force anything, or push or rush anything. They just
happen. And when that happens, I know that Cougar walks next to me smiling.

Cougar has also enabled me to deal with the moves I went through as a child. From the age of
four to twelve, we moved from Holland to the US to the Middle East and eventually back to
Holland. At age 25 I received my degree from my 25th school. Of course since then, I've moved
quite a bit again... to the UK first, and within a year to Canada. Leaving family, friends, roots
behind, and starting a whole new life in a strange country. Not just the move itself, but becoming
parents shortly after, having to redefine ourselves in a new culture, in a new role (that of parent),
and in a whole new setting. Cougar has helped me cope with and make the best of having needed
to make so many transitions, saying good-bye time and again without feeling desolate or lonely
or any of that kind. Learning how to settle into a new environment, learning how to find what we
are needing at that time, and knowing what is right for us and what isn't... The transitions have
all been relatively smooth, uneventful and comfortable.

Cougar has been an amazingly loving, generous, strong Friend to have around, and his influence
in my life has been awesome.

CinnamonMoon:
Mouse, with all those transitions in your life do you see how Cougar has shown you the way to
helping others do the same thing...that smooth transfer of the tap root as you take the first step
and put that foot down in a new location?...and perhaps having to pull it out again? *Smile*
Wildlite, perhaps in your not wanting confrontation you would lead by example in the
harmonious way to resolve issues between others simply by not engaging...walking away? That
aloofness can be powerful if you make a statement and let it fall in someone's lap to mull over as
they watch you leave and realize it's up to them to digest it or not.

Mouse:
Yep. People usually know that I'm comfortable with transitions, with entirely new situations, and
for that reason I believe it is that Spirit guides me to those (or guides those to me) who are going
to undergo a transition of some kind. Also, people observe me. They first just watch. Then they
are curious how something would be, then they ask questions, then some more questions, then I
don't hear from them for a while, and suddenly they get back in touch when they've gone through
a transition. *smile*

Right after I packed up and left Holland and later the UK to move to Canada, my cousin started
getting in touch with me more often. Within a year after my move, she was living in France,
following a dream she'd had since childhood. She's seen that I didn't get into all sorts of despair
being alone in a strange country, letting go of everything that was familiar... and she chose to
follow. Beautiful to see people stepping onto their paths, and into their Dreams. *big smile*

Earthwalker:
In hindsight I have come to realize that I have always worked with at least two categories of
animals. Even as a young child I was always the go between, between the girls and the boys. The
go between, between races and minority groups in my twenties and between the social systems as
I had children of my own. When in my forties in corporate America it was common to have
personality profiles done. It accurately characterized me as walking under normal conditions as
very technical but equally as strong and more pronounced under stress I can revert quickly to a
bold yet introverted style as needed. I realize thanks to SL that I probably work most closely with
the raptor family but also closely with the large cats. Typically even as I child I always looked at
the larger picture and specific details from all sides and tried to find common ground. But when
that failed I immediately revert to making my own decisions and walking my own path. I have
never forced others to follow only done my own thing while indicating that this was what was
right for me (while indicating that I hope we can still be friends). This big cat medicine has
served me well I when asked to cheat on a test as a child. Or when standing in a environment
where drugs were prolific, or when fighting for my sons right to a BMT. I think I use raptor
medicine to find the details to make a decision and use big cat medicine when, after making my
own decision, others feel differently. Except where I have authority to control and even then
minimally do I impose my will on others but neither to I just conform or give respect where
respect is not in my opinion due. So in reality I respect and care deeply about others, look at all
perspectives, choose details that help form an opinion, make a decision and then live it in my
own way. I respect all paths but am driven to walk my own. Bear, Cougar, and Harris Hawk
introduced me to this path and I am grateful for having found SL which has helped me
understand further.

Wildlite:
Hi Cinnamon, I guess this is what I was trying to say. I know that there are times when
confrontation is the only resolve and by this stage I usually don't have a problem in doing so, but
I generally believe that people own the right to learn at their own pace and by their own doing,
and I think that Spirit is ultimately in charge of this. I also think you learn a lot more by process
of trial and error which in leading by example I think you are encouraging.

CinnamonMoon:
Wildlite, When confrontational situations arise we can choose to step in or out of them. If they
become threatening Cougar has a powerful swipe, but does not use it until it is absolutely
necessary. Did you know that Cougar only hunts when hungry, and never partakes in joy-killing?
I like that about her, she's going to put food on the table but only what is needed, and that's her
way of keeping things in balance. It's also said that if you hear Cougar scream it's already too
late, it means she's in the air and about to land...on you. So Cougar is very capable of defending
herself but she'll attack from the rear and you won't see her coming.

In this I see the further display of leading by example, as with confrontational situations we often
do need to approach resolution from behind or by coming through the back door of an issue. By
this I mean if we take it from the rear and do not engage in the struggle of who's right or wrong
we can often take the pressure off that confrontation completely and disarm bringing an end to
what would otherwise be a battle zone. Let me give you an example: I make my livelihood doing
readings which is not exactly the norm for most people. It has a tendency to raise a lot of
eyebrows outside the spiritual community and is a field wrought with bad press, questionable
ethics and shams as well as con artists. You wouldn't believe the stories I've heard from people
who have been abused by those who hang out a "psychic shingle*. Because of this I've often been
laughed at, mocked, and negatively challenged where others feel that's the image that I'm
wearing. I don't resolve it with a swipe of my Cougar paw either. At least not in an offensive or
harmful way. I do, however, put my paw down.

I simply smile and say: "That's fine. You don't have to believe in what I believe in, or what I do,
but I believe in it. I know it is the path Spirit wants me to walk, I've had all the validation for that
anyone could hope for. So while it may not be right for you it is for me. I respect your path, and I
appreciate you respecting mine." Then I let that sit with them, walk away from the conversation,
still smiling and knowing I didn't have to defend or confront them with an argument for who's
right or who's wrong...only the tolerance for choice. To me that's another form of leading by
example and turning what would be a very negative situation into one where the light shines on
the truth and goodness on either side of the issue.

SWC:
Cinnamon, This is interesting. It raises many questions that I would be interested in your views
on.

“That's fine. You don't have to believe in what I believe in, or what I do, but I believe in it. I
know it is the path Spirit wants me to walk, I've had all the validation for that anyone could hope
for. So while it may not be right for you it is for me. I respect your path, and I appreciate you
respecting mine.” And “I didn't have to defend or confront them with an argument for who's right
or who's wrong...only the tolerance for choice.”

What if their path had the effect of not respecting other paths and respecting freedom to choose
and led directly to those freedoms being damaged or subverted, and they couldn't see that?
Would you then leave them to carry on as before damaging that freedom intentionally or
unintentionally, for the sake of being perceived to have avoided conflict? Would you not feel an
inner conflict arising from that, that you would have effectively participated and assisted in
perpetuating manipulating or controlling others and disrespecting that freedom to choose?
If you were explaining this to someone of some intelligence who did not choose to follow
precisely the same rules, do you think that they would not figure out that you were effectively
saying that they were wrong anyway, even if your comments were not directly addressed to them
or placed in he context in which they apply?

Do you think there would be any difference between how people might feel or react (correlated
with, for instance, whether they were male or female)? Do you think that there would be any
chance that a typical male might interpret this as surreptitious manipulation of them and a lack of
honesty?

Do you think that people who walk with cougar (or puma) might sometimes be particularly
sensitive to such things and have a particularly in-depth understanding of people on
psychological and spiritual levels, and might be very willing to quite forcefully defend the
freedoms you described if necessary, irrespective of how this might be perceived? It feels like
this might be so to me.

Do you think that it could be possible that such a person might already know where this thread
was leading as soon as you raised the topic of cougar, and have already expected something
along these lines even before that?

Would you regard this as confrontational because I ask these questions directly in context, rather
than presenting my own views separately out of context (possibly over a period of time)? Do you
think that latter approach would be more helpful and enlightening for people in the absence of an
example which demonstrated what was being discussed? Would you feel in any way
uncomfortable with that approach if you felt that it was specifically being directed at you (or a
small group of people which included you), but not presented in that way?

CinnamonMoon:
Hello SWC,
You've asked a lot of questions and mainly I'd say no to most of this but let me try to break it
down and why. Let me initiate these views as mine, based on my experiences and the examples I
gave here.

"What if their path had the effect of not respecting other paths and respecting freedom to choose
and led directly to those freedoms being damaged or subverted, and they couldn't see that?"
First of all this happens day in and day out with people who see their path as the *only* way.
Personally I feel we all have a right to walk our own path and should. That to me is another
example of Cougar.

"Would you then leave them to carry on as before damaging that freedom intentionally or
unintentionally, for the sake of being perceived to have avoided conflict?"

I would walk away, not to be perceived to have avoided the conflict but knowing that someone
with that kind of attitude needed a lesson from Spirit and not me. It is not my nature nor my duty
to determine anyone's lessons in life and I learned a long time ago that stubborn issues and
opinions rarely get settled in an argument. I'd much rather let someone draw their own
conclusion, see me respecting their right to their views, and not wear any false face. I'll discuss
any topic in an intelligent way, but it must be respectful. If not I am not going to stay and talk to
a wall I have other things to do that are more productive. Sometimes you have to get out of
someone's way so they can learn.

"Would you not feel an inner conflict arising from that, that you would have effectively
participated and assisted in perpetuating manipulating or controlling others and disrespecting that
freedom to choose?"

Absolutely not. I'm not the savior of the world, my responsibility lies with me. With my actions
and my consequences. I am not going to change their mind staying in a shouting match. Stating
my view or opinion and leaving it at that allows them the choice to accept it, reject it, ponder it,
whatever *they* choose to do. I believe we all have that right.

"If you were explaining this to someone of some intelligence who did not choose to follow
precisely the same rules, do you think that they would not figure out that you were effectively
saying that they were wrong anyway, even if your comments were not directly addressed to them
or placed in the context in which they apply?"

No, why should they? I'm speaking only for myself. I'm telling no one they are *wrong*.
"Do you think there would be any difference between how people might feel or react (correlated
with, for instance, whether they were male or female)?"
I doubt it.

"Do you think that there would be any chance that a typical male might interpret this as
surreptitious manipulation of them and a lack of honesty?"

I would hope not, it's not my intention. I'm simply presenting things from my perspective. How
is that manipulating? They've expressed (in theory) their views to me to bring this kind of
reaction in the first place. Respectfully, not manipulatively, I leave them with mine if I see it's a
dead end conversation. It's how I handle such matters and I do not do so based on gender. The
men in my life have never accused me of manipulation because I respect their right to walk their
own path. I'm not dictating what anyone has to do. It's my path and my beliefs and my right to
them...period....just as theirs are their right.

"Do you think that people who walk with cougar (or puma) might sometimes be particularly
sensitive to such things and have a particularly in-depth understanding of people on
psychological and spiritual levels, and might be very willing to quite forcefully defend the
freedoms you described if necessary, irrespective of how this might be perceived? It feels like
this might be so to me."

I'm sure there are situations like that, certainly, but that attitude is the more aggressive side of
Cougar/Puma and in a self-defense position I can get very aggressive too, but I will NOT initiate
it just for the sake of an argument.

"Do you think that it could be possible that such a person might already know where this thread
was leading as soon as you raised the topic of cougar, and have already expected something
along these lines even before that?"

Hardly. What initiated this was a recent experience in my private life with family members. I do
not need to take that further publicly. I believe someone may *think* they know but they don't,
they are assuming they know in that case.

"Would you regard this as confrontational because I ask these questions directly in context,
rather than presenting my own views separately out of context (possibly over a period of time)?"
No I don't see it as confrontational, I see it as a misconception, perhaps based through a
mirroring of truth here, but nothing more.

"Do you think that latter approach would be more helpful and enlightening for people in the
absence of an example which demonstrated what was being discussed?"

No. I do not share my experiences or knowledge for the sake of argument, I share them as my
truths with those who ask me to or in my teachings. I will start threads as I have done here to
discuss things that come to mind. If someone is interested in that fine, if not then it's their choice.
I walk my path in honor, not manipulation, and I serve Spirit every day through love. So what
I've spoken here is honest, it's not meant to be argumentative, manipulative, or inciteful. It's
simply an open discussion.

"Would you feel in any way uncomfortable with that approach if you felt that it was specifically
being directed at you (or a small group of people which included you), but not presented in that
way?"

I think I would ask for clarification before I assumed something like that. If it was directed at me
I would state my views and let them stand...or fall...or be pondered.

Earthwalker:
swc, I will try to answer your questions from my perspective as honestly and openly as these
boards can permit but I will not continue to do so since I do not feel any purpose is being served
by continuing in what I view as an insatiable demand.

“What if their path had the effect of not respecting other paths and respecting freedom to choose
and led directly to those freedoms being damaged or subverted, and they couldn't see that?”
We all have to make a choice for our self and we all come to a broader perspective in our own
time and way. We can only make others see by living our own path not demanding that they
confront what we see as wrong. Try reading David Redfield “The Secrets of Shambahala”. This
is discussed in depth in this book and removes the zealous need to be a missionary of one’s own
view.

“Would you then leave them to carry on as before damaging that freedom intentionally or
unintentionally, for the sake of being perceived to have avoided conflict?”

Personally I do not feel that conflict bring change; understanding does. Before change can occur
one must take the time to understand the need of the other person and why they hold such a view.
There are laws that exist which prohibit the infringement on another; certainly those need to be
respected as well. But to force a view that you feel strongly about on another serves no purpose
other than that of a missionary which you have already expressed you hate. I hold a view that
there should be tolerance for others view and I live that. But that doesn’t mean I cannot tolerate
another person who doesn’t hold my view even when that person I personally feel could be
detrimental to others. I have never walked the path of that individual and I have absolutely no
right to say his or her view is wrong. Outwardly from my perspective it may be wrong but I will
not judge nor will I say that the person cannot hold the view for her or himself. However I too
have choice and a responsibility to walk my own path and not be part of the propagation of the
argument or path.

“Would you not feel an inner conflict arising from that, that you would have effectively
participated and assisted in perpetuating manipulating or controlling others and disrespecting that
freedom to choose?”

All individuals have to choose what is right for them; just because you feel that they are being
manipulated doesn’t mean that they have to follow your guidance. Choice means that individuals
are free and that means they are also free to make their own mistakes. I think this is a general
statement and doesn’t apply in all circumstances but in most that the general populous would be
involved in.

“If you were explaining this to someone of some intelligence who did not choose to follow
precisely the same rules, do you think that they would not figure out that you were effectively
saying that they were wrong anyway, even if your comments were not directly addressed to them
or placed in the context in which they apply?”

I think this is an observation that is coincidental in nature but nevertheless “if the shoe fits, wear
it ” applies. I would hope that an intelligent person would see the application and therein be
mature or secure enough to recognize that the attempt is to diffuse the argument by presenting it
from a different perspective. At times we each disagree with one another. At times we don’t see
what one another’s needs are. I would hope that the person would also realize that when using a
counter argument it removes the focus so others are not polarized.

“Do you think there would be any difference between how people might feel or react (correlated
with, for instance, whether they were male or female)?”

I think there can be a difference albeit in all cases it would represent a generalization. It seems
that a higher percentage of women tend to want a more peaceful approach then men; a higher
percentage of men seem to at least outwardly project that they wish to just win an argument. (it is
my experience that many men banter loudly about issues, taking exception with one another). On
a public forum I think a politically correct mechanism for discussion must take into account the
needs of others and walk in respect of all. Therein the style of either extreme may need to be
softened.

“Do you think that there would be any chance that a typical male might interpret this as
surreptitious manipulation of them and a lack of honesty?”

I would hope not since that would not be the intent. Sometimes things cannot be addressed
because of personal nature of things and sometimes others have knowledge that is not known to
all. Just sometimes it is important to back away knowing that you just may not have all of the
knowledge and cannot have it. Sometimes there are elements that need to be protected even
when they are not available for view. Sometimes one needs to trust that others may have
knowledge that is not available to you. Sometimes trust in an unknown is needed. We are each
human and can only perceive from our own vantage point but we can easily recognize that it
would equally be disrespectful to push our vantage point on others since we are so very limited
in sight.

“Do you think that people who walk with cougar (or puma) might sometimes be particularly
sensitive to such things and have a particularly in-depth understanding of people on
psychological and spiritual levels, and might be very willing to quite forcefully defend the
freedoms you described if necessary, irrespective of how this might be perceived? It feels like
this might be so to me.”

Sometime a little knowledge without all can be dangerous and can do more harm than good. All
individuals need to come to knowledge in their own way. It cannot be forced, that is
disrespectful. That is not cougar medicine since cougar takes only what is needed. What you
speak about assumed superiority. Never would cougar assume that. She / he walks within nature
does not dominate it. If we look at nature for an example we see balance. Out of control
domination is most often observed only from a diseased state, for example rabies.
“Do you think that it could be possible that such a person might already know where this thread
was leading as soon as you raised the topic of cougar, and have already expected something
along these lines even before that?”

Coincidences happen to teach. I think a spiritually enlightened or sensitive individual might forsee
coming lessons from actions portended. So therein in that context, I would certainly hope so.
I would hope that a secure person would see the wisdom of coincident and the strength and
beauty of the lesson that can be taken out of this non-confrontational approach.

“Would you regard this as confrontational because I ask these questions directly in context,
rather than presenting my own views separately out of context (possibly over a period of time)?”
I think asking the questions are not particularly confrontational but questions won’t solve the
issue and at times just keep feeding a need to insist that others that don’t agree with you confront
their feelings. In my mind the disrespect/ frustration I feel comes from an insistence that it is
done on your timetable instead of another’s own. Why can’t you trust that we will all see in time
but in a time which is right for us and present your view and leave it at that. Quite frankly to me
it is annoying to be continually forced the same arguments over and over; it must be equally as
difficult to be getting the same answers over and over. There is no doubt in my mind of their
importance of this to you but it just might be that others don’t feel the same.

“Do you think that latter approach would be more helpful and enlightening for people in the
absence of an example which demonstrated what was being discussed?”

I personally think the latter, presenting one’s own views out of context is more respectful in that
it doesn’t demand that others confront their views only opens up thought for discussion as
opposed to a demand for it. The thought is retained and at some time will be used appropriately.
Please read the Octopus story again if you will. It is powerful. Thank you for bringing its truth to
light as I searched for the answer.

“Would you feel in any way uncomfortable with that approach if you felt that it was specifically
being directed at you (or a small group of people which included you), but not presented in that
way?”

No, I would hope not; it is simply meant as a kind way of suggesting that there might be an
alternative way of seeing. I think we need to come to our own acceptance and accept all views
but that acceptance must also include others rights to choose a path that one might consider
living in blindness as long as it too is not being forced on others. I think as well that after you
have presented views from every possible angle that you can, we each have the responsibility to
walk away from continual discussion and simply walk our own path. There comes a point where
further discussion does not help and drives others away. To this point in particular, I would
however ask myself why when someone says Creator controls all you cannot accept that another
person has the right to choose that path for them self. I may or may not agree with what is
expressed by that but I will defend anyone’s right to choose that path for themselves. It does not
hurt another it is not an avenue of a cult where brainwashing is being used to control others, it is
not a path of self-aggrandizement looking to have a following; it might just be path that another
person chooses to aid them in their lifework or life; that to me must be accepted as well.

My feelings currently is that I have tried to present my views from every aspect I could but I feel
that there is a type of insistence of forced confrontation that seems to go from thread to thread.
While wanting to help the way that that can be best achieved is by example and at this point I
simply choose not to be part of it any longer. From my perspective there is no useful purpose
being served by continued discourse. Cougar medicine is independent and requires that one’s
path be walked. I do question though, what fear is hidden so deep that is driving this apparently
insatiable demand for dominance of one view? Even though hidden under the cloak of respecting
all views, I personally find the demand domineering and therein disrespectful in approach. Still I
suspect and admit that I do not have the knowledge of the experience which has led one to this
style. Since this is true for most individuals that we meet, I am therefore left acknowledging that
the best any of us can do is to present a light by example as a way for others to follow but only if
they so choose. We each have free will and I respect choice. I also respect that at times like
cougar it is best to just walk away following your own path.

Silver Eagle Dream Dancer:
I don't know anything about cougar medicine so this is fascinating. I can see examples of
'stalking' in this thread which I'm assuming is likely one of the most dramatic aspects of cougar
medicine. But the more predatory aspects aren't usually all the medicine is about. I'm curious
about other aspects like family relationships etc. (brain not entirely working yet this morning )
I'm thinking of lions and prides - wolf and packs. Do cougars have the same sort of thing?

Mouse:
Cougars are solitary animals. No packs or group dens, other than that of the mother and her cubs.
I tend to lead by example to our children. I prefer modelling to long discourses. And we've also
had to accommodate the different chosen paths of our young ones at times... EarthSky and I have
modelled one particular way, the children choose to go about it in another way, that's okay, as
long as nobody is hurt or compromised by it.

An example; our oldest is shy in nature, and walks strongly with Rabbit medicine. In the eye of
"danger", he will literally freeze and get run over. A little friend of his, who is more umm,
abundant, would often run Josh over with his behavior, and Josh would let it happen. That kind
of behavior is not something that happens in our family, so Josh had no model for dealing with it.
At one point, his little friend, D, insisted that the belly button is a sort of window into the womb,
that each person has a womb and thus a baby in his/her belly. (His mother was pregnant at the
time). D would insist that the baby in Josh's belly needed to come out (through the belly button)
or at the very least needed to be fed (through the belly button), and he was poking Josh painfully
in his belly button with a stick shaped object. Josh was pinned against the wall. This would
happen several times, none of which Josh found a way of defending his space/body/boundaries.

EarthSky and I role-played several options for Josh; ES would "attack" my belly button, and I
modelled a possible strategy. I would "attack" ES's belly button, and he would model another
possible strategy. We didn't tell Josh that we would be doing anything that he needed to watch,
we didn't enter into a verbal discussion about it. We just modelled several kinds of appropriate
behavior. Sure enough, the next time this happened between Josh and D, Josh started trying out
the various options, and found one that works for him, while respecting D. We've used the rolemodelling
since then; offering various options that are respectful of the persons involved. We do
not like to have "rules", and those that are in place serve to protect everyone's safety and health,
and *will* be enforced. We have no reason to believe that a child would *not* want to learn, we
just don't tell them *how* they are going to learn or *when*.

This is, IMO, an example of Cougar leadership in the family dynamic. And it is interesting
already to see that our youngest almost certainly walks with Cougar, and it isn't a cub anymore
Let's just say that it is very educational to watch the two boys interacting, and to see our
youngest finding his balance in leadership through domination or through example. Obviously
his older brother's Rabbit medicine is bringing out some interesting dynamics between the
respective Cougar aspects and Rabbit aspects of their personalities.

CinnamonMoon:
SEDD, I can see where you feel there’s been some stalking and perhaps it’s about stalking
needed answers. Feels that way to me. Like Mouse said, Cougar is a solitary animal. They are
also very territorial and they will patrol their boundaries on a regular basis to keep them marked
and enforced. To me that’s the same thing as standing on one’s own beliefs and allowing others
to their own territory/beliefs too. *Soft smile* Cougar does not joy-kill, they hunt only for food
and when they do strike it’s from the rear, swift and sure. They want to grab prey by the back of
the neck to drag them off and keep themselves from being bitten. It makes the prey more helpless.
With one swift swipe of their paw they can take a head off. So they are powerful but they use that
power only out of necessity. They are not bullies.

Wildlite:
Please can I stress that these are purely my own thoughts. I think that it is my duty to Spirit to try
and stop a conflict by use of mutual respect. There are times when I've had to step in to stop
someone physically harming someone else, and this is something I will always do. Whether it's
physical or verbal I think it's right to interrupt anything that can cause damage, but not to judge
that person by it. There is a big difference in standing up for your beliefs and fighting for your
beliefs as you can't fight for peace, it goes against the very nature of it. Love and forgiveness
conquers here.

A phrase that has been in and out of my mind quite frequently of late is that when you come
from truth...you please the whole. When living by truth, in time the need to argue and make your
point subsides, and as long as I'm acting in truth it doesn't matter what others think of me.
By showing your respect for the other persons opinion by simply granting them that respect and
walking away, nurtures the theory of oneness by being the change that you want to see in the
world. IMHO most often do I find that in this world no matter what we do, we need to pay it
forward.

Speaking from my own experience, it has only ever been my pride that wants to set some one
straight. From my understanding the times that I have wanted to argue are the times that I have
WANTED to be right. And in truth, we surrender ourselves to this.

Also...in keeping with synchronicity, I try to look at why Spirit has shown me this
confrontation...is there something being mirrored in me? There is the saying that to change
something on the outside we need to first change something on the inside, and quite often when
I've found myself in the position of a confrontation, there is something being mirrored in me,
even if amplified.

The most bizarre and quite instant example I can give was when I was young and I am ashamed
to say, that when I first saw the bumper sticker that says "Practice random acts of kindness" I
thought to myself stupidly...Wouldn't it be funny if someone bought out a bumper sticker that
said "practice random acts of road rage" it was a throw away comment but literally an hour later,
after I found this hilarious I reversed out of a driveway, not even on the road yet and paused to
wait as a car drove by. Instead, the car came to a grinding halt, the driver got out and very
angrily threatened to beat my head in. It was a random act of road rage! Now I was young and
being very stupid, and even though I didn't like any form of aggression, I had a careless thought
that floated into the universe and came back to me straight away, mirrored and amplified. One
small thought had a rather large impact and I learned a very hard lesson...with our thoughts, we
create our world.

Through truth we find a new understanding of compassion for others, and of the whole...and
confrontation tests us, makes us look at our ways and brings the death of old habits, and maybe
one day...someone else’s. Spirit's timing is perfect down to the last micro second, and that is
something that I'd never interfere with. Spirits lessons teach like no other, and they are unique to
each individual.

If you look at everything in the universe...at the elements...there are things that work together,
and things that don't. It's the yin and yang and all things have their place in lifes quest to heal its
self. It took a very long time for me to give up the need to argue my point, and I have to grant
that same time frame to everyone else

Unregistered Guest:
Some thoughts: Well I think either the leader or the one being led would probably have walked
out by now. Either the leader decides that the one being led has misinterpreted everything, or the
one being led thinks the leader has misinterpreted everything, or both. Either way neither will
understand the other. The different natures and the different perceptions have created a rift
which is virtually impossible to mend.

Everyone is different. We need to understand the individuals and interpret behaviors correctly
and encourage and motivate them in a way that is appropriate for them if the leading is to be
successful. Confrontational? My former wife always used to say that if I was any more laid back
I'd be dead. It's important to stay calm and patient in a leadership role.

CinnamonMoon:
And in my opinion the opinions expressed here are in the hopes of sharing views and clearing the
air, not contaminating it or demonstrating anything but a positive approach and respectfully
presenting those views ... remember that this post was addressing the leadership of Cougar by
example. I do believe we're seeing that in action, but in this case, that of Cougar, the Leadership
role is not one of control, it is one of choosing to follow that example or not. Cougar could care
less who follows behind, s/he's off on her/his own journey. This is how s/he leads....
exemplifying by the way the path is walked. One of my favorite quotes is: “The strength of a
leader is in their ability to empower others.” To me that is Cougar leadership.

"Either the leader decides that the one being led has misinterpreted everything, or the one being
led thinks the leader has misinterpreted everything, or both. Either way neither will understand
the other. The different natures and the different perceptions have created a rift which is virtually
impossible to mend."

Only if one closes their mind to that understanding. When there is a desire to understand any two
people will continue to pursue the issue fairly. If there is a control factor involved then no,
understanding is not found for it presents a dominated and force-fed perspective that is not easily
digested. However if that *leader* expresses a view and allows the one being *led* to draw their
own conclusions then there is time to digest it and make a choice to say if it tastes good or not.
When one desires to close a gap it will be closed. When a wound is created it can be healed with
proper care. Spirit teaches us that through love we are embraced by Spirit and it is through us
that the love continues to be spread out into the world. Part of that is embracing the fact that
there are many paths to walk and we can choose those right for us. Some people are more
aggressive than others and they enjoy strong confrontational discussions, but if we are lost in the
confrontation we are then blinded to the truths. We must open to the different perspectives to see
them.

IMHO someone who is confrontational is calling out to be embraced, wanting approval for their
views, demanding they are right. But if that same person is embraced and told that their views
are valid for them, it's okay to be who they are, and that they are welcome to share them then the
*rift* is closed, communication is acceptable, and discussion brings forth enlightenment.

What's been presented here and initiated by me is only a fraction of Cougar's Medicine. It's one
aspect. I think we are seeing it in action, albeit that was not my initial intention, it seems to be
Spirit's intention and it's good to question things. But when we question we must be prepared for
the answers we are given too. Just because we don't like them or are being told that we are
mistaken about the intent behind them does not mean they are illusions. It just means that we
don't like what we're hearing and there's something inside us that needs to be reflected on to
understand why that dislike or emotional reaction is being brought to the surface. That's when we
begin to open our minds and expand our perceptive ability.

"Everyone is different. We need to understand the individuals and interpret behaviors correctly
and encourage and motivate them in a way that is appropriate for them if the leading is to be
successful."

That's if the leadership is intentional and under a control focus. In Cougar's case there is no
control other than the Self and allowing room for independence, demanding it for self,
exemplifying that to others through that choice, but not demanding they follow along. That's up
to them.

"Confrontational? My former wife always used to say that if I was any more laid back I'd be
dead. It's important to stay calm and patient in a leadership role."

And sometimes, like Cougar, it's just as important to observe the examples before making your
choices. Who here is not calm and patient? I am not seeing impatience nor am I seeing chaos,
what I am seeing is individuals exemplifying their right to choice, the respect for others to make
their own choices, and the right of all to speak them. We choose what we want to dine on, this is
simply a banquet table.

SWC, I see you challenging this but in that challenge I'm also seeing you holding up the mirror
for the lesson to come through. Thanks! It's being demonstrated by example as we interchange
and Cougar is perched in the branches of the tree overhead, laid back, observing, and we'll just
have to see how s/he chooses to demonstrate this lesson further. Some will choose to walk away
from it, it's not an example that serves them and Cougar will watch them go wishing them well.
S/he's not on the prowl to put prey before anyone to dine on. She's here to observe and bring a
lesson forward by her very presence. Sometimes we need to observe a process to fully
understand it and gain something from it. So it's the experience of following her leading by
example that teaches, that leads, not forces anything. If we don't get it here we'll get it
somewhere else. Spirit keeps presenting us with different ways to learn until the understanding is
finally achieved. *Soft smile* You can't force understanding, it must come from its own source
IMHO. But someone who really wants to learn will. They keep at it until they do see the truth of
the matter and then they adjust it to their perspectives and go their way to find the next lesson. If
they don't they're going to be stuck in a rut until they break free of it and that only comes when
they understand how to step up out of it.

Wildlite:
SWC, hiya...I think it's important to recognize here that we all are leaders, and we are all being
lead. Like you said, we need to interpret each other correctly, and isn't it always the hard thing to
do...eek. It's so easy in this day and age to be misunderstood, and quite often when we look at
another’s path which on the surface seems very different to ours...it can actually be very similar.
So I guess in leading by example like Cougar and teaching by results rather than opinion, we
leave the bits that are so easy to misinterpret out of the way and people can be guided by Spirit,
and their own Inner Spirit.

Wouldn't it be nice if all paths could happily live with each other...regardless of what is right or
wrong is so unimportant...it's the end product that matters in the long run. I think therefore it is
important, like you said, to at least try and understand where everyone is coming from. At the
end of the day, what does resolve conflict is knowledge and understanding. And if we can't
understand, then the least we can do is try to.

There have been so many "right theories" that have been proven wrong...and one day they may
be proven right again. I read a good phrase the other day on a scientific website that is taught to
first year science students. "what if everything I thought to be right is actually wrong??" This is
taught not to make you disbelieve, but challenge and build.

As you said, everyone is different and each case is different...otherwise cougar would be the only
one here

CinnamonMoon:
In Cougar’s style of leadership I can equate that to going clothes shopping. There are many
stores. Inside each are many racks, many different styles of clothing available and a lot to select
from. Therefore the individual shopping will visit several stores, select from several items the
items they feel best suit their needs. Are those items wrong? No, they are right for that
individual. Should we judge them for what they select? In my opinion, no we shouldn’t, but
reality tells me some will judge them, perhaps even mock them or bully them for those choices. It
then speaks to the one judging, bullying, mocking and their character doesn’t it? And meanwhile
the aspect of Cougar that is the ‘shopper’ walks on pleased with their purchases and choices.
They leave the ones judging, mocking or bullying behind. Again, leading by example. Cougar
leads by example naturally, not intentionally.

Mouse:
“Either the leader decides that the one being led has misinterpreted everything, or the one being
led thinks the leader has misinterpreted everything, or both. Either way neither will understand
the other. The different natures and the different perceptions have created a rift which is virtually
impossible to mend.”

I think that if the leader decides that the one being led has misinterpreted everything, that there's
a value judgement happening. Value judgements take away from respecting another person's
choice of path. I think that if the one being led thinks that the leader has misinterpreted
everything, there is, again, a value judgement happening, and again, respect for the other person's
choices and beliefs is hampered.

“Either way neither will understand the other. The different natures and the different perceptions
have created a rift which is virtually impossible to mend.”

Either way, there is judgement happening, which makes the one better and the other lesser. That,
indeed, creates a rift which is not impossible to mend, but it is hard to stand next to each other as
equals, and to see the other person's chosen path without judgement, but with respect. Cougar
medicine is not about better or lesser. It is about not needing to walk another person's path to
please or appease and not needing the other person to walk their path to please or appease. It is
about just walking your Path, just going about your own business regardless of whether others
are on that path or what the general consensus about that path is or should be.

“We need to understand the individuals and interpret behaviors correctly and encourage and
motivate them in a way that is appropriate for them if the leading is to be successful.”
I prefer the "what you see is what you get" approach to behaviors. If it quacks like a duck, walks
like a duck and flies like a duck, there's a good chance that it is a duck. Interpreting the duck's
behavior doesn't serve any other purpose other than to figure out why the duck is a duck.
“…if the leading is to be successful.”

Leading with Cougar medicine is not about *doing* anything to help or motivate or encourage. It
is about *being*, and letting the other *be*. If we are to have to *do* all sorts of things in order
for leading to be successful, then we are talking about a hierarchical, authoritarian leadership; a
leadership that is coming from an appointed place, and serves to create a following.
“It's important to stay calm and patient in a leadership role.”

I choose to disagree with you. It is suppressing the *self* when a leader pretends to not be
fuming when (s)he truly is. It is misleading to the followers, who invariably will feel that the
leader is in turmoil and greatly impatient internally, however calm and patient the leader may
pretend to be externally. That conflict will be noticed. Therefore, I choose, at all times, to
express myself in a respectful way truthfully. If I am calm, I will express myself calmly. If I am
angry, I will express that I am angry, (literally say: I am feeling angry) while finding constructive
ways to deal with my own anger without disrespecting others. The same goes for impatience.
For example, if I am frustrated with my children’s behavior and feeling angry or impatient, I will
tell them just that: "I am feeling angry/impatient. I need time to sort my feelings out, and will
take some quiet time to do so". I then remove myself from their company (I do not send them
away; it is *me* who is not appreciating the interaction, thus *I* step away) and sort myself out.

There is no secret about how I'm feeling. However, I do not physically express the anger or
impatience, nor do I blame them for my anger or impatience. They have found my buttons only
because there *are* buttons. Those buttons are *my* responsibility, not theirs. If I were neutral
about an issue, there simply wouldn't be a button for them to push, and it wouldn't get my goat.
I do not need to maintain control over my behavior to the point where I am denying myself and
others what I am truly feeling. When I was working as a therapist, I could bet my britches that a
client would feel it if I was putting on a calm and patient mask if I wasn't feeling calm and
patient. However, if I took a moment upfront, and said to the client: "There's something going on
in my private life at the moment, and I am not feeling as calm or as patient as I would like to be.
Let us see if today works for both of us, if not, we can reschedule to a better time." What was
being controlled in that situation, was the maintenance of respect and being human. I didn't need
to keep my personal feelings under control; by not needing to keep them under control, I was
able to *choose* the expression of those feelings, instead of leaving it up to the client to pick
them up unconsciously and letting the sessions be clouded by that.

Tarra:
Greetings and Thank you to all those who have participated in this conversation! You will never
know how much you have helped me to understand why I lose so many friends. Even though this
conversation started out as non-judgmental I can see where it could have been taken as
judgement in places. And although I try to stay neutral with my friends I use the wrong words or
attitude and things go downhill from there. I have learned a great deal about Cougar from
reading these posts and about myself. Now if I can learn to apply them. So again thank you all.

CinnamonMoon:
The information I'm sharing here is general in concept and taken from my notes as well as a
variety of sources. I apologize since those sources were not noted at the time, I had taken the
notes just for personal reference. I hope in sharing them the discussion of this creature-teacher
will be enhanced and those of you who walk with Cougar will find it helpful to you.

Cougar:
*Leadership, grace, strength, ability to see in the dark, cunning, freedom, balance, selfconfidence.
*Stealthy, silent, capricious. Broadening the subconscious mind, ability to keep secrets, healing
through purification, physical strength. Adding to the cat's basic nature, we find in the Cougar a
sense of unlimited creativity. Writers, poets, musicians, actors, artists often have Cougar
personalities. They are born show-persons, with an internal gage of when to use their persuasive
charm. Cougars heal others through mystical means, an some can even aspire to positions in the
healing arts.

*To see Cougar means you are being stalked physically or spiritually by an enemy. A good
hunter and protector. Good luck and skill in hunting or for protection against other powers and
people.

*Master of the hunt, the creature whose prowess in bringing down game is unsurpassed. Its
method of quietly watching and slowly stalking its prey provided a model of caution and subtlety
for the hunter. "Now I am come up out of the ground/I am ruler of the season." Considered the
Elder Brother it is imbued with many mystical qualities. Its eyes became globes of fire at night.
its scream in the darkness could paralyze a deer or an unwary human. Its wisdom and Medicine
would be shared with those spiritual seekers who approached it with proper reverence and purity
of heart. Born under the sign of the Cougar you are sensitive, easily hurt by disapproval or
rejection and highly mystical in nature (Feb 19-March 20).

As a totem animal, you are likely the kind of individual who enjoys exploring the mystical side
of life. While you may be thoroughly domestic in one part of your nature, you know that you
also harbor within a wild, primitive aspect that could be unleashed at inopportune moments.
There is a part of you that could relish running off and getting lost in the wilderness. There is a
hidden element within your psyche that dreams of racing through the forest in the dark, of
dancing around a campfire, of living in a much simpler time.

Your Cougar Guide will help you attain balance between the ancient memories of a far away and
long ago time for which a part of you yearns and the here and now in which in the present you
must successfully adapt and flourish. Your Cougar totem can bring out a certain aggressive
streak within you, but your spirit voyages can assure you that you become a hunter of dreams
and visions, rather than a hunter of another entity's blood and life-force. Rather than striking out
in anger and revenge, you will learn to speak out in peace and love.

*Coming into your own power. Year round cycle. One of the most fastest and powerful of
animals but it tires quickly. Stealthy hunter, time to learn about your power. Test your own.
Usually through trial and error to strengthen and hone skills. When it shows up much of the trial
has been worked through. Now it is time to assert. People may not like you asserting. They may
try and keep you in the category they have always kept you. It is up to you if you want to choose
to stretch your muscles and show your capabilities.

You fall easily under attack, especially by those who do not wish to see you truly grow and have
grown comfortable with the status quo. There will always be some who do not wish to see this or
acknowledge that you have come into your own power. There is a choice to be made, and it
should be made quickly and strongly. A cougar leaps at its opportunities. Power can be asserted
gently. There is strength and power in gentleness. There are times to be gentle and there are
times to assert your power forcefully.

Cougar can kill a Porcupine without harm to itself--one of the few animals that can--by flipping
it on its back and exposing the vulnerable underbelly. This teaches decisiveness in the use of
personal power. When it attacks it does not hesitate. When threatened, it goes for the most
vulnerable place. This teaches how to bring out your power and fill your heart with it in a
manner that will enable you to take charge of your life using it to defend or attack with equal
effectiveness.

*Leadership. A target for the problems of others. Blame for things going wrong or taking charge
when others cannot. Justification for the insecurities of others. This teaches use of power in
leadership. The ability to lead without insisting that others follow. Understanding that all beings
are potential leaders in their own ways. Use and abuse of power in a position of influence.
Graceful pounce to balance power, intention, physical strength, body, mind, and spirit.
Cougar wastes nothing. It takes only what it needs. It is Mother energy. Standing on your
convictions and leading yourself where your heart takes you. Review the purpose behind your
personal beliefs. Discover whether or not your plans include a family or sharing your dreams.
Has the time come to push children out of the home? You are not allowed to be vulnerable.
Constantly aware of keeping the peace.

The first responsibility of leadership is to tell the truth. Know it, live it, and your example will
filter down to the tiniest cub in the pride. Responsibility is no more than the ability to respond to
any situation. Panic is not part of this sacred Medicine. You cannot lead through tyranny or
dictatorship. Do not let fear stop you. Call upon the courage of Mountain Lion and begin by
learning the lessons of the lion-hearted. Do not follow others who abuse power. Ask questions of
anyone to whom you have given authority. See if they carry the Medicine of Mountain Lion, and
whether you can grow into your own leadership by observing how they handle the task of setting
examples. Refuse to hide in the cave of your own shyness or uncertainty. Roar with conviction,
roar with power, and remember to roar with laugher to balance the Medicine.

*Shamanic group affiliations: Cougar is in the Mythic Creature category. His/her power is from
the North, and is centered around Earth energy. It's magical attributes being one of the fastest and
most powerful creatures, yet tires quickly, teaches that it is important to always attempt to
reserve your strength and not completely drain yourself. This animal has the ability to learn what
others have not. Meaning you are open to learning and easily educated, but usually only to things
that you feel you "need" to learn. Also, this education is usually done alone, and through trial and error.

Cougar is very decisive and does not hesitate. They are also excellent "hunters", have great selfconfidence
when facing crowds, are very cunning and tend to seek freedom. You may desire to
be alone a lot--but you have tremendous belief in yourself, and can more than hold your own in
the mainstream of life.

Cougar also has awesome physical strength and beautiful physical grace. This animal is a great
totem for an athlete, especially a gymnast, football running back, etc.

The Cougar is a natural born leader--but not as a full-time "job". People tend to shy away from a
person with so much in-born power. This tends to develop into people trying to hold you back. If
this becomes the case you must use your Cougar power and choose quickly and strongly. How
do you want your life to be? Choose quickly before the bindings are tied.

One thing Cougar people must learn is gentleness. Most lack this aspect. This does not mean
giving up, or even reducing power, just add some gentleness. There are times for both. Power
can also exist in gentleness. Learn this so that others may not feel so threatened by you.
If Cougar has simply appeared in your life (a brief appearance, not seeming to carry much
message) then it has come time for you to learn about power. Learn about your power and
universe power. Learn to use your power. Fo you, this will usually best be done through trial and
error.

If Cougar has shown up as a totem (carrying a message, or recurring appearances--possibly in
dreams) then it has come time for you to assert your power. This is a sign that you have learned
what you needed to about your power, and now you should use what you learned. Go out and
win some battles.

*A great little strong guy. Cougar teaches about using leadership power wisely without ego.
Balancing power, intention, strength. Gaining self-confidence. Freedom from guilt. Cunning. He
is also the messenger between Sky and the Creator. (Noted in a post by WisOwl years ago! *Soft
smile*)

The floor is open to discuss these insights. After we finish with Cougar I'll be happy to take on
another creature-teacher with you and we can grow together learning what they have to share
with us and apply it to our own paths as needed.

Mouse:
“A target for the problems of others. Blame for things going wrong or taking charge when others
cannot. Justification for the insecurities of others.”
Cinn, can you explain more about the above?

“It is Mother energy. Standing on your convictions and leading yourself where your heart takes
you. Review the purpose behind your personal beliefs. Discover whether or not your plans
include a family or sharing your dreams. Has the time come to push children out of the home?
You are not allowed to be vulnerable.”

(emphasis mine) Regarding standing on convictions and leading myself to where my heart takes
me: Ooooooh yeah! Very visible in my parenting style... but also, coming to Canada on a mere
"inkling", a sudden knowing that this place was where I needed to be even though I'd never been
to Canada, let alone to this island, no relatives here or anything... just *knowing* and leading
myself there. Same for up and going to the UK to be with EarthSky... that sure made my friends'
and family's heads spin. Within a week of being with EarthSky, I had decided, just *knew* that
this was it... and a month later I was living with him after having finished off business in Holland
(read: released all material ties, job, rent, etc). Once the scent has been picked up and
determined to be necessary or useful, it is immediately acted on. No looking back.

“You are not allowed to be vulnerable”
That is one that I'm still working on, but getting better with every day. Just being so used to
having to be the strong one, the one who will pull the cart, shoulder the burden... taking a step
back from that and acknowledging the need to take a break or *share* that load... *whew*,
ongoing lesson for me. Thanks for posting all that info Cinn!

Earthwalker:
I think Cougar comes to show one when it is time to simply be. Cougar has taught me a lot both
here at SL, at work, at home and with family during the last month or so. It's a time to let go; a
time to simply be. The appearance of Cougar along with the understanding of how short and
unpredictable life can be strongly suggests a time to follow one’s own solitary path. Often it is
easy to get caught up in the needs of others. Cougar teaches to let go and walk your own path;
therein suggesting that others need to find their own way as well. Cougar, I think of as a
protector as well.

Mouse, I think I can give you an example of what I believe Cinnamon might mean. When I was
married I always handled paying most of the bills including real estate taxes etc. My husband
remarried about ten years after we divorced and he and his wife almost lost their house to back
taxes. I asked why and my ex-husband indicated that since I had always paid the taxes and he
gave his wife money like he did with me he had just assumed she had paid the taxes as well.
There was an implication that if I hadn't taken care of everything he wouldn't have had this
problem. Actually we had a good laugh when I asked if he really meant that it was my fault that
he and his wife didn't pay their bills.

Thank you all for the help with these lessons. I have seen Hawk flying overhead twice in the past
few days suggesting possibly another approaching change.

CinnamonMoon:
Hi Mouse,
Earthwalker's example with the issue of being: "A target for the problems of others. Blame for
things going wrong or taking charge when others cannot. Justification for the insecurities of
others." was a fair assessment. Actually it's the presence of Cougar in our personality (when
we've learned to work with this energy and insight) that stands powerfully as a presence. It
exudes confidence and competence. Being a loner, Cougar knows what it is capable of and is
very clever in achieving it. That stealth is shown in many ways throughout all its attributes. It
can be very intimidating to others, whether through their own insecurities, jealousy, envy, even
those who are in control, whatever their motivation, Cougar people often find themselves to be a
target for their independence and ability to stand on their own.

Because of this people find ways to try to manipulate them into feeling guilty and will often
accuse them of things they have not done to belittle or gain a measure of control, perhaps even
goad them into compromise. Others will justify their own insecurities when the Cougar Medicine
is strong in someone else and blame that individual for what they do not or cannot face in
themselves.

I also agree with Earthwalker that Cougar is a protector--at times and it depends on how you
work with them. Mine certainly is and she will often take it upon herself (more independence
here) to check out new people entering my life that I am getting close to. People often tell me that
she's come calling before they know I walk with her, and just as often she will bring a friend
(who is also one of my Big Cat Totems) to accompany her.

Once you understand these basics about Cougar that I've outlined in the overview, and then
come to be developing a relationship with Cougar as either a Guide or Totem animal, things
start to be more refined. By this I mean that each Guide/Totem has its own personality. Just as
people are people and still *different* so are our creature-teachers and the closer we get to them
the more we learn their private natures. That's when things develop for you on a whole new
level.

Two Cougar Guides standing side by side would be unique in their own ways and a person
working with them would soon discover that. I walk with 4 Big Cats, there are many things
similar to them, but many differences as well. At first I wondered why there would be four
different kinds since they would by nature be territorial enemies but it's different in the spiritual
sense, there they have respect for one and other and they show it through close associations and
ties. Each one, though similar in nature being a Cat, had many different things to teach me. I
treasure each of them and hold them in deep regard, it's an honor and they have taught me much
about survival skills in life as well as their other strengths.

Cougar among them stands out as a lone traveler as most Big Cats are more socialized within
the pride. Cougar's pride is comprised of cubs and a mate but it is the female that sets the rules
about how those cubs are raised and tended. The male is more often absent and around just for
snuggle time but the cubs will always remain with the mother. In my own nature I was that way
with my children. Their father and I had very different relationships with them and different
parenting ideas. I was relentlessly persistent they would know manners, behave, show respect,
learn to be tolerant, and gave them social skills that included the survival techniques I'd learned.
In that they are both very independent women today and can stand on their own. This gave them
(note Cougar's style here) the ability to choose their mates, selecting them not out of need but
because they *wanted* to share their lives with these men. It makes a difference.

They are independent creatures and they do things their way. It's not so much about nonconforming,
it's more about knowing what works for you and taking the road less traveled with
some very powerful strides, usually learning as you go for on such roads there are many
obstacles and challenges to overcome. Clever thinking and problem solving skills meet those
challenges courageously for Cougar knows the power it wields and is not impulsive with it. They
learn young and they don't forget, their skills evolve as their power grows and they walk
confidently knowing they will use it if necessary only. To hunt, to defend, to build, to protect, but
always honorably.

Cougar does not need to follow the rules of others, their provocative way of seeing things and a
strong sense of honor guide them to making wise choices. If they make a mistake they remember
it. If they observe the mistakes of others they learn from them. They learn as they go. Cougar
knows its territory well and watches over it closely but will, as a rule, take different routes and
roam that territory to watch over it. It will take only what it needs, a good lesson in life, and it
will hunt only to put food on the table. Their hunting skills and the prey they choose to stalk tell
us much about the things that sustain Cougar.

In studying the prey we understand what it is that Cougar can teach us about those types of
needs. For instance, Cougar will hunt Rabbit. Rabbit will have strengths and weaknesses that
someone walking with Cougar will need to reflect on in themselves. Rabbit cries its fears and
calls danger to itself that way becoming frozen with that fear and hence vulnerable. At the same
time it is very quick to sense danger and get out of the way with darting skills that are abrupt and
unexpected. It too can tunnel and burrow underground to hide from predators, or join the safety
of the warren (social group) for safety in numbers. Those are good things to know and jiggle into
our own understanding of Self.

Cougar hunts with quiet stealth, often unheard or unseen until it's too late to escape them. They
say when you hear Cougar's scream it's already too late, they're ready to land before the prey
can think to flee. They pounce with advantage, from overhead, usually from behind to knock their
prey over and put them at a disadvantage. They will drop from a tree, or leap from a boulder or
some other vantage point. They like lookout points to rest themselves, and blend well with their
surroundings. What can we learn from that? Observation skills, keen hearing (listening skills), a
strong sense of smell, and using them to your advantage. It's endless when you begin seeing their
traits and nature after observing them, as a species and as individuals.

Cougar sees into the darkness of night as well as by day so there is very little they are not clearly
aware of. They are at their full power year round. Seasonal changes do not hinder them and they
will teach you their way of coping and working with the elemental forces. There isn't much that
hinders Cougar's need to act at any time because of this and they have a keen understanding of
the seasons. I'll stop here, I can talk about them for days!

BanjoSally:
Going by what Mountain Lion (Cougar) has taught me, I am learning to realize that my
independence is okay, and also to teach by example. In addition, Mtn. Lion has tutored me in
losing my fear of heights.

SWC:
Cinnamon,
"When one desires to close a gap it will be closed. When a wound is created it can be healed
with proper care. Spirit teaches us that through love we are embraced by Spirit and it is through
us that that love continues to be spread out into the world. Part of that is embracing the fact that
there are many paths to walk and we can choose those right for us. Some people are more
aggressive than others and they enjoy strong confrontational discussions, but if we are lost in the
confrontation we are then blinded to the truths. We must open to the different perspectives to see
them."

I think it would depend. It takes two to tango, as they say. There will always be a gap between
the perceptions of two different people. If one does not make allowances and accept that then it
doesn't work. Some people can make allowances to any degree and never feel the need or desire
to walk away as such. They just see which interactions are likely to be most useful. Others will
have some emotional or psychological reaction to differences and they make the choice based on
those reasons. It is often largely a matter of perceptions rather than anything about the other.
Who here is aggressive and enjoys confrontational discussions? Who here doesn't like the
answers they are receiving or being told that they’re mistaken about the intent behind them? (I
never intended to suggest or imply that anyone here was impatient by the way.)

“Understanding individuals, interpreting behaviors, encouraging and motivating
appropriately…”…"That's if the leadership is intentional and under a control focus."

From my experience, I would say that if someone has a control focus, then they don't understand
individuals or interpret behaviors correctly and the individuals don't feel encouraged or
motivated. Views similar to the one you expressed here could potentially come from someone
who has a desire to control, but can't face their own issue on this. I would say that attempts to
control usually result in people becoming demotivated and discouraged, and that comes out in a
number of ways, self-doubt, procrastination, anger, desire to control back, resentment,
arrogance etc. Many human imbalances and emotional tendencies arise from the effects of
attempts to control (often subliminal and unrecognized by the person who engages in the
attempts). In this way the imbalances, are effectively transmitted from one person to another,
spreading like an infectious disease.

Mouse/Nanukshuk,
“Leading with Cougar medicine is not about *doing* anything to help or motivate or encourage.
It is about *being*, and letting the other *be*. If we are to have to *do* all sorts of things in
order for leading to be successful, then we are talking about a hierarchical, authoritarian
leadership; a leadership that is coming from an appointed place, and serves to create a
following.”

Most people are not just being and letting the other be. In my experience I would say that I've
never met anyone who is completely just being and letting others be. While I agree that someone
who wasn't toward that end of the scale would not be an ideal leader, it would be necessary in
practice for someone to approach that kind of state in order to be an effective leader and for that
matter to be effectively led. The things I mentioned, would be aspects that could be worked on
and evaluated in order to achieve that.

“It is suppressing the *self* when a leader pretends to not be fuming when (s)he truly is.”
I'm not sure whether you intended to address what I wrote here. I don't think I wrote anything
about pretending. Personally, I am just calm all of the time, always have been like his to a high
degree. (I got angry once, but that was an exceptional circumstance where there were increases
in control through national and international policy formation, which immediately affected me,
both my children, many people who I've worked with, managed, guided and trained, and in my
view significantly contribute to policy tends which adversely affect and increase control over all
people everywhere in the long term.) It doesn't matter how other people behave or emotionally
react. That is their issue, not mine. They can be four times my very low weight, stand within
inches waving their arms around aggressively leaping about and going red in the face, and I am
still calm. I experienced such scenarios when I was at school with people just as big when I was
much smaller. I was calm then. If you think this would necessarily involve repressed feelings,
then I would ask why someone would want to take on unnecessary and destabilizing negative
feelings that don't really belong to them at all.

“I was able to *choose* the expression of those feelings, instead of leaving it up to the client to
pick them up unconsciously and letting the sessions be clouded by that.”

I have many years of leading experience, although I've never applied for a leading role, except
when specifically asked to take it on. I've never experienced interactions being clouded, by
people sensing anything negative. It's the other way round. They avoid other appointed leaders
and come to me instead.

I wouldn't see any reason to invent feelings in order to try to prove to myself that I wasn't
repressing them. I really don't think it's that hard. How could one "just be" if they were being
stirred by unnecessary negative emotions, and having to reschedule, or whatever? It's much
easier to understand why other people have negative emotions or how adverse events arise, and
not be personally emotionally impacted by them.

It's like the missionary thing that Earthwalker mentioned. Of course I don't hate any missionary.
Why should I? Just because I get something confirmed that I already believed, that people are
often drawn to believe things for reasons other than that they are true for them and I choose not
to do that, wouldn't cause me to hate someone. I have no reason to hate anyone, because I
understand the processes whereby people come to behave in certain ways, which may sometimes
have adverse consequences for others. To me the point is not how things are or are perceived or
imagined to be, or how people or groups are or are perceived or imagined to be. That is neutral
to me. It can't be any other way than how it is. The point is how things may become, we just
participate in providing what may be needed to allow things to change as we go along. It just is
so for me. It happens. It's always been this way for me. I don't have to question myself or have
self-doubt on such things. It's just as it is.

CinnamonMoon:
SWC, First let me say that this is not a discussion on psychology, it is a discussion on Cougar
Medicine. When one looks at the teachings of the Animal Nation from a spiritual perspective and
hence the higher good, psychology of human behavior does not apply. Animal behavior does.
What things the animal itself can show us become the focus. So the leadership we address with
Cougar is not going to be the leadership we as humans would perceive. It's not that we would
address in politics, the corporate world, psychology, or of management in any form. In fact, it's
just the opposite, it is unintentional leadership, by example of being who you are in the first
place and not being caught up in the image of who's watching or what they are going to do about it.

Leading by example in this case is about walking a solitary path *without* a following and if
someone happens to observe your actions, find them honorable, and choose to follow that
example in their own life that's fine. But you're not having that forced upon you. It's your option.
Cougar is a loner, it will keep it's cubs close until they are ready to be on their own and then send
them out into the world...having taught them through the art of observation and osmosis, not by force.

Cougar does not call for others to join with it as in a pride, and therefore it avoids the
preconceived notion of leadership in the first place. Cougar simply *is* and by its very nature,
one of integrity and honor, the balance and intent of taking only what one needs, of leaving
others alone so they can make their own choices, of nurturing those in your care...all independent
and solitary ways, we see that integrity come through.

By observing the integrity of Cougar we are finding a mirror held up to us to observe our own
integrity, our own tolerance of the choices others make...and we see that by making our own
choices carefully and cautiously, defending only when it's necessary, hunting only when its
necessary, protecting and loving we see an example. It doesn't matter who is watching or what
they do with the insight from what they are observing. That's their choice. It doesn't mean they
are right or wrong in making it, only that they are free to do so.

If Cougar is unhappy in a situation (or mirrored into a human condition, if the atmosphere of an
environment were to be unconducive to one's journey), it simply withdraws and walks away
detached from that situation. If it is a conflict where there is discord Cougar's strength is very
powerful and it is quite capable of (and more than likely will) defeating any attacker, but will
only do so of necessity. When it is cornered or feeling trapped watch out, that swipe is swift, fast,
and able to decapitate in a single blow. However it is not Cougar's intent or desire to find itself in
such situations or maliciously take such actions. It simply wants to go its own way without
impinging on the rights of others or demanding anyone follow. Choose your path and walk it
with honor...that's what Cougar teaches us and it's what Cougar leads by...walking in respect,
integrity, compassion, and honor.

Cougar is a very tender and loving parent (leading by example with the cubs and *showing*
them how to live) with great patience. It is observant, and will watch for some time before taking
action because in that observation it sees the situation for what it is, adjusts to it, and then acts
accordingly. If hunting it will lay hidden blending in the surroundings, not moving, waiting for
just the right time to act. If stalking it stalks quietly in an unobtrusive manner. When on the move
it moves with grace and dignity, light on its feet teaching us by example to make our earthwalk
with grace and dignity too...if we are able to see that we may choose to follow that lead in our
own actions as we walk our own path just as Cougar makes its own trails to walk.

We're not focused on opinions of leadership here or the psychological and analytical aspects of
different models of leadership...we are focused on the type of leadership that Cougar presents
and what we can learn from it. Of course it depends on the situation as to how we/Cougar will
react, but it does not react on impulse or on theory, it reacts based on what it is feeling in sensory
input, what it sees, and it avoids confrontation preference being it's solitary path: "You go your
way, I will go mine, and if we meet let's do so cautiously with respect." Cougar is not going to
attack without provocation. It is not going to hunt unless it's hungry, but it is going to go about
its day observing its environment and being certain that things are as they should be within the
natural patterns of the ecological landscape.

If there is an intrusion into it you can bet those ears will be moving around to pick up
information. You can be sure those whiskers will be twitching, it's natural curiosity is part of its
observation skills. Wanting to know what's going on, assessing if it is a threat or just something
going by on its way to somewhere else. Assessing if it is hungry or well-fed and acting
accordingly. When Cougar does hunt it is swift, and when it defends it is quick, and it is over just
as fast. There is no messing around, but nothing is wasted and space is respected. If Cougar is
full, you can bet that an intruder is going to be watched but avoided. Probably not even aware
that Cougar is there. But if it's needing food that intruder or the prey will be very expediently and
stealthily dispensed with.

In some cases it does take two to tango, in human perception, but in Cougar's world it is the loner
aspect. Living within the balance of life and maintaining that balance by its very nature. So there
is no concern with what others do with their lives as an example of a rule it must follow. It's
going to do what it needs to do, survive in peace if possible, become aggressive only when
attacked, and more often than not exit a threat, but if that threat continues it will circle back
around and come at the problem from behind then pounce and in mid-air announce its presence.
Too late, it's claws are out and it is about to land. Problem solved. It did not start the
confrontation, but it did bring it to an end because the one confronting it insisted on forcing their
will upon the Cougar.

It's not about people to study Cougar, it's about Cougar and what it can teach us as people about
living and letting others live.

"If one does not make allowances and accept that then it doesn't work. Some people can make
allowances to any degree and never feel the need or desire to walk away as such."
When we look at this from a spiritual perspective of the higher good, of the greater whole, of
living in harmony with those around us, that shifts. You're examining it from the mundane
perspective of human social structure. Cougar is not human, it can teach us things from its own
perspective simply by us following its lead of silent observation and the way it reacts to its
environment....unobtrusive, respectful, and tolerant.

"Who here is aggressive and enjoys confrontational discussions?"

I was not addressing anyone here, just the teachings that Cougar presents in general.
"From my experience, I would say that if someone has a control focus, then they don't
understand individuals or interpret behaviors correctly and the individuals don't feel encouraged
or motivated. Views similar to the one you expressed here could potentially come from someone
who has a desire to control, but can't face their own issue on this."

On the contrary, these views are exclusive to the teachings of Cougar who has no intent to
control anyone else's life. Hence the potential to control does not exist. Moot point.
"I would say that attempts to control usually result in people becoming demotivated and
discouraged, and that comes out in a number of ways, self-doubt, procrastination, anger, desire to
control back, resentment, arrogance etc."

If one is trying to control. Cougar isn't interested in that. The only control Cougar is interested in
is self-control.

"Many human imbalances and emotional tendencies arise from the effects of attempts to control
(often subliminal and unrecognized by the person who engages in the attempts). In this way the
imbalances, are effectively transmitted from one person to another, spreading like an infectious
disease."

Hence what we can learn and how we can benefit from Cougar's example. Don't try to control,
there is no need to force oneself on others, and by doing that there is harmony in the
environment. Live and let live within the circle of life. We all have to eat, grow, learn to survive,
and get along; we can choose walk from confrontations or stand and defend ourselves if
necessary, but Cougar is not going to start a confrontation, only finish it.

Silver Eagle Dream Dancer:
Well, I don't know about anyone else but with Cinn's last post, I'm starting to get it! I've been
feeling cougar clueless. Cinn, you mentioned that they are loving parents. How long do they stay
with their young and how do they go about kicking them out of the nest, so to speak or do the
kids just wander off? How would that translate into a person’s experience with their own
children? Ok.. maybe just general cougar medicine as it pertains to parenting is what I'm
wondering LOL.

CinnamonMoon:
Here's what I have from my notes, SEDD (sorry, no noted sources). Let me say that some of this
is repetitious, but only because I jotted down everything I could and liked the substantiation from
different sources:

*Courtship and mating occurs throughout the year, but is concentrated from December to March
in northern latitudes. Gestation periods last from 82 to 96 days. A female mountain lion can
come into estrus any time of the year. Estrus lasts about nine days. Females usually give birth
every other year. After six cycles without mating, the female has a lull for two months before
coming into estrous again.

*Males remain reproductively active to at least an age of 20 years, and females to at least an age
of 12 years. Litters vary in size from 1 to 6 cubs with an average of 3 or 4. Birth weight is
between 226 to 453 grams. The cubs open their eyes 10 days after birth. At the same time their
ear pinnae unfolds, their first teeth erupt, and they begin play. The cubs are fully weaned at about
40 days of age. Mother and cubs remain together for as long as 26 months, though the average is
15 months. Male young disperse from 23 to 274 km, while females disperse from 9 to 140 km.
Males reach sexual maturity at about 3 years of age and females at 2 1/2 years.

*Mountain lions are solitary animals, with the exception of 1 to 6 days of associations during
mating and periods of juvenile dependence. Population densities vary from as low as one
individual per 85 square kilometers to as high as one per 13 to 54 square kilometers, depending
on the density of prey and other resources in the area. Females with dependent cubs live within
the wide space used by the resident male. Mountain lions mark their territories by depositing
urine or fecal materials by trees marked with scrapes. Mountain lions are primarily nocturnal.
Males are found together immediately after leaving their mother, but rarely as established adults.
Mountain lions have summer and winter home ranges in some areas, requiring a migration
between ranges.

*Although cougars are generally solitary except for mothers with young, they communicate
through scent in urine and feces deposited in scratched up areas called scrapes. Through scrapes,
cougars keep track of each other to maintain a social network based on mutual avoidance.. They
mate at about 2 years of age, remaining together only for a few days to a week. Mothers have a
gestation period of 3 months and raise the litter without help from the males. The young stay
with their mother until they are 17 to 23 months old, when they leave in search of their own
territories. Females often stay close to their mother’s home range, but males usually travel farther
away, sometimes hundreds of miles. Young males are at serious risk of fatal attack from all adult
males, including their father.

*Males maintain territories that overlap with those of several females. They attempt to dominate
matings with those females.

*A mountain lion in the wild will not mate until it has established a home territory. When the
female is in estrous, she vocalizes freely and frequently rubs against nearby objects. The male
responds with similar yowls and sniffs the female's genital area. The highest frequency of
copulation was nine times in one hour. A single copulatory act lasts less than one minute. There
is a 67% chance of conception per mated estrous

*Mother mountain lions care for and nurse their young until they are about a year old. The young
are born helpless and are protected by the mother in a sheltered area until they are big enough to
roam and begin to learn and practice hunting skills.

*A solitary animal that comes together only to mate. Females are able to breed as soon as 18-24
months of age. Litters occur at 2-3 year intervals. The gestation period is 92 days. Born with blue
eyes and spotted coats, cubs stay with their mother for 2 years. She is a playful, loving mother,
teaching the cubs all they need to know to survive. Litters will be from 1-5, usually 3, kittens.
*Female panthers reach sexual maturity at about 1 1/2 to 2 1/2 years of age, and males at about 3
years of age. Panthers are polygamous: they mate with more than one partner. Males will try to
prevent other males from mating with females within their ranges but they are not always
successful. Mating pairs may remain together for up to a week, sleeping and hunting together.
*Panthers, like all other cats with the possible exception of lions, are induced ovulators. This
means that the stimulus of copulation triggers the release of the egg by the ovary. Induced
ovulation is an adaptation for solitary cats to increase the probability that the egg will be
fertilized (Mellen 1991). Humans and other more social species are spontaneous ovulators: they
release eggs even in the absence of males. A female will signify her sexual availability by the
scent of her urine and by caterwauling, a yowl some people think sounds like the scream of a
human female and which gave the panther the name screamer. The gestation period for panthers
is 92 to 96 days and litters consist of from 1 to 4 kittens.

*Births can occur at any time of year but are most common in the late spring. Late spring in
southwest Florida is also the time when deer have their fawns. So when female panthers have
very young and vulnerable kittens and their home range is restricted greatly by their need to
protect and to nurse their kittens, prey resources are at their greatest.

*Before giving birth, the female panther will prepare a den, usually in a palmetto thicket. Kittens
weigh about 500 grams at birth. Their eyes are closed and they have grayish-brown fur with dark
spots. Females will not breed again until their kittens are 1 1/2 to 2 years of age and able to
survive on their own. If they lose their kittens for any reason, they will again become sexually
receptive and will mate.

*The female alone is responsible for raising the kittens. During the first 2 to 3 weeks after giving
birth the female spends most of her time in the den nursing her kittens. Still, she has to leave
them to hunt and may be away for many hours. By the time the kittens are 2 to 3 weeks old, their
eyes have opened and they are able to move around the den. Their eyes are blue and their fur is
spotted. They have five dark rings on their tails. The mother will gradually increase her time
away and the distance she travels. After making a kill, she will eat as much as she can and will
return to the den to nurse her kittens. Cougar milk has 6 times more fat than cow's milk and the
kittens grow rapidly. By eight weeks they weigh about 4.5 kg, nine times their birth weight.
*Alone in the den kittens sleep and play. They chase each other and chew and exercise their teeth
and claws by chewing and scratching vegetation. When they are about 2 months, kittens begin to
accompany their mother on hunting forays. At first she hides them nearby while she hunts. After
a kill, she leads them to the site where they all feed. By 6 months their spots are almost invisible
and their blue eyes are turning brown. Gradually they are learning to hunt on their own. By 9 to
12 months they are catching small prey on their own. By 1.5 years they are still hunting small
animals such as raccoon and armadillo as well as an occasional deer or hog.

*Events leading up to the separation of panther mothers and offspring are unknown. Panther
researchers have located resident adult males near females and kittens just before the kittens
dispersed. Males were probably attracted to the female's renewed sexual receptivity. Changes in
her hormones may have caused her to encourage her offspring to disperse (Maehr 1997). In any
case, by age 2 panther young have left their mothers to establish ranges of their own. Females
will often establish a range that overlaps with their mother's range. Males will usually be forced
out of their mother's range by other males.

Silver Eagle Dream Dancer:
Sounds like a cougar parent would be very protective up to a certain point. Guessing from what
I'm sensing and partly what Mouse wrote earlier on but... if a cougar parent leads by example
then the child would learn naturally and at some point, both would be aware that it was time for
the cub to move on. The notes mention that matured cubs will seek their own territory (found in a
lot of species) but I'm wondering if the territorialism is the motivation behind the separation.
Sigh.. I'm poking around at something but I don't know what or why! I'm feeling we may have a
few cougar parents that are in need of understanding this particular aspect.

CinnamonMoon:
Yes, SEDD, they are protective until the cubs are grown enough to make their own way. The
time of gestation, rearing by the mother, and then leaving her care equates for people as the time
it takes for them to sit with an idea/goal, nurture it along, and then set it free to stand on its own.
The time it takes us to fully enter into and come to understand a lesson. The time it takes for us
to conceive a plan, carry it out, and reach success with it. See the pattern and you can see how it
applies. *Soft smile.* To a large degree, yes, I feel the territorialism is motivation for separation.
As in we all need our own sacred space. Perhaps that’s what you’re poking around at?

NorthernStar:
Please allow me to jump in and write this post: Coming back from my meeting with my group I
was circling around this topic here in this forum and did not open it. Something powerful was in
it. Okay - this evening I did. Somehow I read the topic "Cougar" - but I did not get it "really". I
was reading the word - but I was not getting the content reading it. As if I never had heard the
word Cougar before (and I did... *smile*). I simply did not open this post. But kept circling
around... Watching... Coming nearer... Then jumping in... Having opened the thread and having
read over the posts I sit back and do not really know how to express my deep inner feelings. I
came back from the meeting with Cougar - and now you offer this beautiful topic here. Cinn, do
miracles can happen? Yes, they can...And somehow it is not a miracle but a very natural way -
natures way...I will have to be with this for some time and I will read the posts with some time.
Thank you all for sharing here about Cougar.

CinnamonMoon:
Hi NorthernStarDeer, I'm glad you've joined us, and yes, Cougar is very powerful Medicine with
a strong energy signature. Spirit Lodge has several resident Cougars roaming around too, so I'm
sure that's what you've felt coming from the other side of this particular door. They're all really
nice kitty cats though. ROFL. Seriously, I hope there's a lot here that will speak to you and that
you'll find some enlightenment coming from the thread. It's a lovely subject to examine but I am
partial to them to begin with. Hopefully we will find that when we've exhausted this examination
there are others that will be just as fascinating and informative to follow. I'd love to do a whole
series if others are up to it....one at a time of course

Mouse:
SEDD, when I was a teenager, I was already seriously clashing for territory with my mother
(who self-admittedly didn't want to let me go) at age 14. Now in Holland that is not particularly
uncommon, it is not unheard of for 16 year olds to find a place for themselves after they get their
high-school diploma. Remember, Holland is small enough to make weekend or even evening
commuting to the parental home very easy.

Anyway, at age 14, I was pushing for territory so hard, that my mother had to let go of some
major ties with me. I was ready to just go off and do my own thing if she hadn't released me. The
rules we then established, were a lot looser than any of my peers, and included not coming home
for the night should I so choose. BUT, if that were the case, then I had to contact my parents
before 10pm, and let them know where I was, with a phone number; they would then hang up,
call me at that number, and only if the number I had specified was correct, and there was adult
supervision there with whom they had spoken, could I stay away from home without
repercussion. It was based on mutual respect of responsibility. Also, rules about amount of
evenings allowed out, dinner time and whether or not to be there for dinner, at age 16 I was
allowed to let my boyfriend stay over for the night, in my room... I believe these were all part of
Cougar's need for territory of their own.

Also, I've always been a very responsible person when it came to school (homework and exams),
getting to school and work in time, financial matters... they were all well cared for, and my
mother knew that she could trust me to continue acting responsibly towards my other obligations
(school, finances, work). I moved out on my own at mid-17. I literally needed more personal
territory.

Responsibility has always been a biggie in my life, so it was relatively easy for my mother to see
when I was ready to carry more. I am doing the same with our children. When I see that they
have mastered the basics of something, I will encourage them to do it themselves from thereon.
As soon as they are ready (emotionally, physically) to take over something that I had been
providing/doing for them previously, it's out of my hands. I've so far felt very comfortable with it
that way. If I see that they are uncomfortable with something, that they have misjudged
something, I will verbalize that for them, and we *negotiate* what might be returned to me for
the time being.

If our kids indicate that they want to take it a step further, they are free to try, but a new
boundary is immediately and verbally reinstated. For instance with walking/stroller. They
started to indicate that they wanted to walk instead of sit in the stroller (old-fashioned pram,
facing me, so that they can at all times see my reaction/action/interaction with the world around
me). If it was a busy street, I would say that he could walk in a quieter street, we would go there
on the way home. So we'd start on a quiet street. Before he would be taken out of the stroller, I
would tell them that they have to hold my hand, and otherwise they go back into the stroller. I
would also not flinch about immediate reinforcement of that boundary. No warnings about it,
just pick-m-up-and-put-m-back.

Once they are comfortable with that new stage, and they indicate they are ready for the next
stage, again a new boundary would be installed; you can walk without holding hands, but you
stay on [this] side of me, and you listen when I say "come now". Not listening? back to holding
hands. Etc, etc,. I am very happy to give them the freedom they are seeking, but they must show
their skill at the freedom they already have, and their ability to respond to situations that arise
within that freedom.

That's part of my parenting stuff that comes to mind immediately when I read your post SEDD.
(NorthernStar, how sweet! Isn't it amazing how synchronicity already puts things in place well
ahead of us?

Earthwalker:
Cougar medicine is most easily exemplified to me at times of life and death decisions. When
decisions of this type are required, one carefully and quietly gathers information from doctors,
from family / friends and from Spirit (stalking part of Cougar). But then one goes within; one is
still within the world but one is deep within in a solitary place assessing, thinking, feeling, and
praying (solitary and protection part of Cougar). When one, you and you alone, must make a
decision that could impact all those you love, Cougar medicine takes one deep within to a place
to ensure that all perspectives are integrated and balanced. That final decision is made deep
within this solitary place albeit being somehow connected to a greater energy. With the time
right, the decision made, one goes after the chosen path with all of the strength of Cougar,
regardless of the reservations of others (pouncing of Cougar). Cougar medicine recognizes and
respects other perspectives but doesn’t waste excessive energy in trying to change others minds;
time fames are usually too short for this type of activity. Therein decisions are made, points are
discussed and one moves forward regardless of the uncertainty or gaps in understanding of
others. One does need to walk one owns path. There is often a need to walk away from the
energy drain that can created by others; not to hurt, but to conserve energy while recognizing that
at times further circular discussions will not aid in the decision making process.
Thank you all for helping me understand Cougar medicine.

Mouse:
Earthwalker, yes! Thank you, I recognize that in me too, just hadn't seen it as "unusual" or
particular to Cougar. Obviously the decisions you have had to make and been confronted with
go much deeper than the events in my life have taken me... yet I recognize it from, for instance,
choices around pregnancy and the various testing and intervention that is available for that in
our current system. It is also part of the doula work that I will be doing, helping the mother find
answers to questions regarding her pregnancy and labour that call for unbiassed information, so
that she can do just that: go within and make a choice that suits her, her unborn child and her
partner best...

“That final decision is made deep within this solitary place albeit being somehow connected to a
greater energy. With the time right, the decision made, one goes after the chosen path with all of
the strength of Cougar, regardless of the reservations of others (pouncing of Cougar).”
Good thought for me is to realize that *I* would value that approach strongly, but that may not
count for all pregnant women who are needing to make informed decisions. Thanks for showing
that that way of decision making may be a personal one, not a general one.

Earthwalker:
Mouse, I just used the extreme example since it is easier to see.; i think it is used by many in
situation where one needs to justify time spent to self. I agreed with you I didn’t see this method
of being as anything unusual either; it is simply the way one is. This series has helped a great
deal in my understanding. I am looking forward to the next series as well.

NorthernStar:
Please let me add one aspect that I experienced again and again:
When walking the path I also came to situations where I had to decide whether to continue to
follow a teaching that was given or whether the time had come to develop and to follow my own
inner feeling/knowing - whether this time had come... (This is not meant as a kind of being a
"rebel" against what a teacher says - it is a kind of getting the basic tools and then starting to
develop the own way of working.. A kind of integration work...) This was not always easy -
because it may feel "easy" to follow but it is a step to walk in the own shoes. My life long I
always went my own way - it also took me a long time to work in groups. Cougar also indicates
for me a time where I look at my connections I made and I allow: Who is allowed to "guide" me -
from whom do I learn - and what about my own inner guidance that always is to be heard... It is
the second time Cougar came to me in a very strong way - and it always were situations where I
had to look deeper: Where is my own path to develop - now?

Well - my "normal" position is to walk my own path - it always was like this - and when I get a
little bit too "lazy" (this may happen - sometimes; yes, Cougar, thank you... *smile*) then
Cougar came to give me a strong but friendly hint. I like to run with Cougar - she is great and I
am so very thankful for her lessons. Strength in Beauty...Thank you all so much for sharing. It is
a gift to learn with you all...

 

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