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SPIRIT
LODGE
LIBRARY
Myth &
Lore
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Some of the 86 pages in this Myth & Lore section are below. The rest
will be found HERE
Black Corn Woman
By Bear Medicinewalker,
LoreKeeper
There once was a woman called Black
Corn. She lived in a village surrounded by incredible beauty.
There was beauty in the forest, in the plains, in the sky above
and the earth below. Black Corn was very tall, taller than all
of the other women of her village, indeed, taller than most
of the men as well. Strong of limb she was and fair to see.
Yet deep within were hidden deeper waters, roiling with discontent
and..... Well, no one really knew what else, not even she.
Black Corn was very unhappy, she
had so much love to give, yet could not seem to find the one
to give it to. All she wanted to do is love someone and have
someone love her. She loved her People dearly and did all she
could for them, even to the point of sacrificing her own wants
to help her People.
Many Gifts she had been given by
Creator, but she could not seem to find them when she needed
them the most. She was taunted by many for things she could
not understand, she began believing, at first resistantly, then
willingly that the lies and the actions were deserved. When
she would gaze upon her image in the still waters of the pond,
she would think "you are too direct, too tall, too strong,
too much... well, too much everything! You have too much passion,
too much love, too much... well, too much everything, and no
one wants what you have to give!"
Yet the love she held inside for
all the People was full to bursting within her breast and all
she wanted was someone who would accept her love. All she wanted
was for the People to accept her love and what she could give
them. Down and down she went with no one to love, no People
who wanted her love, or so she thought.
Then, one day, after a particularly
difficult incident, she awakened as if from a dream and thought
to herself "Why is it this way? What did I do that was
so awful that I should be treated in this manner?" Deep
inside herself she looked for an answer to these questions.
Deeply, beyond all of the hurt, all of the pain that had been
put upon her, behind the men who had used her without her consent,
and eventually, as her self-respect dwindled, with her consent.
So many judgments had been passed on her but none so harsh as
what she had passed upon herself.
The deeper she looked, the uglier
it became, and the faster the anger rose until it was full-blown
rage. White hot the rage burned and coursed through her body.
Blindingly it raged, but this too was another illusion. Yes,
the rage was a deception, a shield to protect her from what
laid beneath.
Finally she could hide no longer
behind the rage and the sorrow that she had desperately tried
to hide over the years. It came at her like a tidal wave and
she stood defenseless in its path. She no longer had the strength
to fight; nothing left to stem the flood, so she stood helpless
in its path, no shield to protect her any longer.
Out she ran into the forest, hearing
the tiny voice inside screaming in agony, dying, dying, dying,
screaming NNNNNOOOOOOOOoooooooo... and she just knew that all
she had ever thought that she was slowly dying a painful death.
Finally, she could help herself no more and cried out in
anguish, clutching at the pain in her breast, feeling herself
slipping away. She cried out, in full voice, which held all
of the pain and agony, begging, at her most pitiful for Creator
to take her away from this pain.
"Please, please Creator, I can
bear this life, this pain, no more, it is too much, Please,
please, take me home, please let me have peace!" And when
she had finished crying out these words and prayers, and all
of the ugliness that was inside her had been given voice, the
sound so awful to hear that not even the animals or birds made
a sound out of respect for her pain, she lay herself down on
the damp sweet smelling forest floor. Her soul ripped open and
flayed a bloody mess before her and before the Creator, she
finally saw the truth.
It began when she was 7 summers old;
she would go into the forest to play. One day a strange man
came upon her and began to speak with her. His words were intriguing
and he spoke of grown-up things that she liked to hear about.
Eventually this stranger seduced her as a child, and as a child,
not knowing any better, she had allowed it. Many years would
pass before Black Corn realized what had been done to her, and
when she did realize, she issued a judgment so severe upon herself
that she began to believe that she was unworthy of love. She
lost all respect for herself and, indeed, this is what she projected
unknowingly to everyone she came into contact with. The voices
of the others that would taunt her were really reflections of
her own voice within that she could not, until now, listen to.
In that moment of her defeat, laying
on the forest floor, she began to see with clarity what it was
that made the People treat her as they were, and with that knowing,
she began to cry, great heart wrenching cries that tore at the
very fabric of her soul and thus began the cleansing process
from within. She found that while she had forgiven that strange
man his trespass against her, she had never forgiven herself
for her part in it, she had never taken responsibility for it
either, preferring to live in a fantasy in her mind that she
had been the victim, all the while feeling the guilt of the
participant. There had been one other who had used her in this
fashion, a relative, who did not know of the first stranger.
But by then, the damage to her soul had been done and, while
not realizing why it was so, she allowed herself to be degraded
even more by this second man.
After that, there was no room for
self-respect or self-love, feeling as she did that she was unworthy
for the things she had done.
After the sobbing had subsided, Black
Corn began to feel differently, having accepted everything that
was ugly inside of her, she began to heal. Finally, after all
of these years. It took a long time, but finally she was able
to forgive herself as well as forgive those who took her unfairly
and in bad faith, took her innocence and made something ugly
out of it, all the while accepting her own responsibility in
it as well. Finally she was able to forgive herself. With that
forgiving, there was now room for love; all of the love she
wanted to give the People was the love that she had been denying
herself. Once she could learn to love herself and accept herself,
she could also love the People much more than she ever thought
possible, and the People rejoiced!
You see, they had always loved Black
Corn, but because she did not love herself, she could not see
this, she would not ever have seen it if she had not asked herself
"why am I being treated this way".
The answer was within her all the
time.... This was Creator's answer to her prayers; this was
his gift to her.
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Libraries
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INDEX
Page 3
(Main Section, Medicine Wheel, Native Languages &
Nations, Symbology)
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INDEX
Page 5
(Sacred Feminine & Masculine, Stones & Minerals)
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Copyright: Cinnamon Moon & River WildFire Moon (Founders.)
2000-date
All rights reserved.
Site
constructed by Dragonfly
Dezignz 1998-date
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