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SPIRIT
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Healing
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29
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Fibromyalgia
By WolfSpirit/DragonHawk
Hey guys, As some of you may be aware
I started with leg pain about 18 months ago, which I
think was the result of a gym injury. The pain spread into my
lower back and neck/shoulders. I
get numbness in my limbs and tingling in my feet. I had put
the back and neck pain down to
sitting at a desk all day - and the numbness and tingling down
to bad circulation (smokers stuff).
Anna She Who Dances mentioned Fibromyalgia in her introductory
bio - and something really
made me want to find out more...I went to a site and found that
the strange blurry vision I
sometimes get and the headaches I suffer from are also symptoms
of this condition. I have not
been able to understand why so many different parts of my body
ache at the same time - and this
has been pretty scary. My doctor has had me for all sorts tests
that have all shown up nothing.
There have been various things that have caused me stress over
this period - and I partly put all
my symptoms down to stress. If Anna is around, I would be interested
in hearing from her on her
experiences of the condition and any other symptoms she has
experienced, and also how she
fought the condition. During all this period all I have wanted
to do is sleep - no interest in work,
play, even speaking to people is hard! Just about my only interaction
with the world is through
Spirit Lodge and work - all social activities (i.e. sport) are
now out the window - I do not have
the energy! I feel that this condition has found me for a reason
- to slow me down enough to
think - but right now I need a hand with this as it is hard
to think when you are in constant pain! I
got stuck in a motorway (interstate) jam tonight and the pain
from being stuck in the car for 3
hours was pretty bad! Obviously if anyone other than Anna has
experience of this condition I
would love to hear from you also!
Anna:
Hello, I'll try to explain where fibromyalgia came into my life
for the past 8 years and go from
there. As I had written in my bio, when I had been teaching,
I stayed sick with the flu, bronchitis,
laryngitis. During this time, I was under severe stress at work
and at home. I developed pain in
between my shoulder blades and neck. This deep pressing intense
pain that would not leave.
Fatigue hit me hard. I couldn't sleep well, restless with pain
and not able to truly sleep. I
couldn't work. Then I was in a car accident. We were hit broadside
on the driver's side and I was
the passenger. A F150 truck slamming into our Toyota sliding
us about 100 yards into a curb.
It's a miracle we weren't killed or injured. I had on a neck
brace for a bit until the doctors were
assured damage hadn't been done in the top of my neck. I came
out of it sore and stiff and my
fibro worsened into a nightmare.
The pain spots would move around my body into my chest, one
leg or the other, my feet, my butt,
and on top of my head. But, it preferred to stay rooted in my
upper back and neck. I had short
term memory loss. Brain fog where I couldn't think clearly and
reversed numbers and letters.
Thirst. Dizziness. Eyesight changing. Severe headaches like
a band squeezing my head and my
head sore to the touch. Migraines. Rashes on my hairline, around
my nose, and on my feet. Stiff,
painful fingers that felt swollen and were not. Sometimes a
tingling under the skin that felt like
ants crawling around. Sometimes a leg would just give out.
I saw many specialists and had every test known to mankind.
MRIs, muscle and nerve tests,
blood tests galore, poking & prodding and questions out
the yin-yang. Nothing showed up. No
Lupus, no MS, no Lyme Disease, not AIDS. I did test positive
that I had once had Epstein Barr. I
spent some years just sleeping, or trying to sleep. I was a
Guinea Pig and put on mounds of
prescription meds from anti-depressants to seizure medicine
to Ritalin along with pain meds. I
sat in a chair all day like a zombie. And still had pain and
no relief. Chiropractors didn't help. I
went off and on meds to herbals and vitamins trying all the
latest spouted in Fibro books and
literature. I got very fat. My immune system didn't work and
I had allergies.
Then I returned to my spiritual path. I found and believe, I
had a predisposition for this disease.
I set it up through stress, eating wrong, being a type-A person,
not taking care or listening to my
body, and losing touch with myself and The Divine. Once I began
back onto my spiritual path,
life began changing and I began making different choices for
the better of myself. I found I was a
very fragmented soul and I had lived in an imaginary world hardly
touching Earth or the present
in which I lived.
I had to gather my fragmented selves and begin healing. I had
to release and cleanse soulfully. I
had to start listening to my body. When body said no meat, no
meat. When body said okay, a
little meat, but more fruit. When body said to move, I had to
move--- as simply as breaking out
into dance while listening to music and cleaning the kitchen.
When body said cut the diet sodas
and drink more water, I did so. When spirit said, pay attention
and get out of your head, I did. I
completely quit prescription meds and herbal treatments. I do
complete a cleansing products and
I've been using one lately. Oh, and of course, the lower chakras
and the liver, adrenals, and
kidneys were affected. Lots of cleansing of stored toxics. Some
of the weight has been falling off.
I hope to get to my standard weight and be able to work hard
and exercise hard outdoors.
I'm still learning and listening. I mess up. I sometimes go
and gorge on some chocolate even
when my body says no and it makes me sick. Sometimes I'd rather
sit and not go outside for a
walk to get back with nature. It's a hard process. I'm still
learning to pay attention to my feelings
and instincts. Trusting myself. Trusting that my self knows
best and listening to that. And listen to
the pain when it comes. The pain is a teacher and I've learned
I have to listen to it and find out
what my body is saying.
I am healed but now I am balancing. I prefer to not say "I
AM" sick. That keeps me sick. I believe
I am healed. I know I have to balance. We all do---that's part
of learning.
Sometimes this process feels like when I clean house. I start
on one end cleaning like a mad
wizard and finally reach the end. But, when I reach the end,
the beginning needs cleaned
again!!!! There are always some dirty dishes in the sink! I
have to give thanks to the Divine All,
my spiritual guides, and my two dolphins helpers for being in
my life and always there in love
and guidance. And I've had to learn to open my heart to receive
love .... and give love back. This
is the short explanation of my journey through fibro. I hope
this helps. If you have any questions,
please ask. I'll answer the best that I can.
DragonHawk:
Thank you for your post it has really helped! When I look back
this all started with flu for me
too! When my partner left Christmas 1999, I got a real bad flu
lasted for about 4 months, and
whilst there have been periods when I have felt OK, it has never
really left me! I have had a
couple of whiplash injuries going back into my early twenties.
I too have been through stressful
times in most areas of my life – though I am only just
realizing how stressful – it had become the
norm, so I did not realize I was stressed!
In May 2002 the symptoms you describe really kicked in. I was
on holiday in Greece on my
own. I went for breakfast one morning, and as I walked the short
distance back to my apartment,
I suddenly started feeling dizzy and unwell. Even stopping walking
did not help. At the time I
put it down to the heat, or the shellfish the night before:
I felt really dizzy and my legs started to
give way, I started to panic as there was no-one close by, and
the panic turned into a panic attack
and I thought I was having a heart attack. These dizzy spells
continued when I got home. One
day I got the dizzy spell at work and ended up in the Emergency
Room. Frequent visits to the
chiropractor did not ease my back or neck pain.
Then in August 2002 I began with a pain in the top of my leg
–probably from over exertion in
the gym after a period of not training - felt like a rope being
tied around my leg – going into my
back through my gluts (buttocks) and up my back into my neck/
shoulders. My guts went real
bad and I got a tremor through my entire body.
“Fatigue hit me hard. I couldn't sleep well, restless with
pain and not able to truly sleep.” Boy do
I know how that feels. I have managed to keep working (being
single and self-employed I had
to!), but sometimes only managing about 25-30 hours a week,
when I used to be able to do 50 no
problem. I am way too tired most of the time to have a social
life. In late September 2002, my
dad took sick suddenly and died – boy this piled on the
stress, both during that period (arguments
with his second wife) and after – all sorts of un-rational
guilt issues. I had booked a holiday with
some friends before my dad got sick, and decided I still needed
to go – but all that holiday I just
felt like I was not there – like I was seeing everything
happening, but it was not me who was
there.
“The pain spots would move around my body into my chest,
one leg or the other, my feet, my
butt, and on top of my head. But, it preferred to stay rooted
in my upper back and neck. I had
short term memory loss. Brain fog where I couldn't think clearly
and reversed numbers and
letters. Thirst. Dizziness. Eyesight changing. Severe headaches
like a band squeezing my head
and my head sore to the touch. Migraines. Rashes on my hairline,
around my nose, and on my
feet. Stiff, painful fingers that felt swollen and were not.
Sometimes a tingling under the skin that
felt like ants crawling around. Sometimes a leg would just give
out. “…I can understand all of
this – except the rashes, although i have had skin and
hair changes. The memory loss and brain
fog really scared me (I always had such a good memory before!).
As did the dizziness and
eyesight changes. The feelings like swollen joints are the ones
that give me the most pain now.
And boy… that tingling feeling under the skin - Urgh!.
I never put all these symptoms together and thought they could
be one thing! This was the scary
part – it just felt like my whole body was falling apart
– hardly any aspect of me was right! And
the tiredness! And yes, I too have had many tests, seen chiropractors,
masseurs, physiotherapists,
acupuncturists, herbalists, doctors – all sorts of “ists”,
and yes I have been to the sexually
transmitted diseases clinic!
I have not really taken any medications – although the
pain did get real bad a couple of months
back and I got three days’ worth of anti-depressants and
some Ibuprofen to try and ease the
lower back pain (which is the worst pain for me) – which
really worked – but I won’t take tablets
as a rule – so once the depressants ended, I stopped taking
the Ibuprofen and only take one now
if it gets to 3am and I am still tossing and turning with the
pain.
I have been walking a spiritual path for about 10 years, so
I have continued during all this period
– but I recognize now, from events over the last year or
so, that I was not really listening. Since
joining SL, with all the non-judgmental support here, I have
really started to listen! I do eat all
the wrong things at times, I smoke and I don’t drink enough
water, and for a while, I did not
even try to sleep. But I am starting to get a grip on all this
stuff now. The pain is still there – but
events right now are showing me how to change – people
and situations are coming into my life
that are showing me my errant attitudes and giving me opportunities
to make the right decisions
for the right reasons, and as a result my stress levels are
coming down considerably.
“I had to gather my fragmented selves and begin healing.
I had to release and cleanse soulfully.”
At the back of my mind I feel that this was sent to slow me
down enough to “wake up and smell
the coffee” Big cleansing stuff has been going on for me
over the last year, with the results now
manifesting in the physical...
I would say that It appears to be working, slowly and surely!
You appear to have “come into my
life” at just the right time for me to say “enough
is enough” time to smell that coffee! Thank you
so much for your post Anna, it really has helped!
Anna:
Thank you Wolf Spirit. You mentioned hair changes. I forgot
to mention that my hair went from
straight to curly and from a fine texture to coarse. I did not
like my hair frizzing out. I had it
straightened a couple of times and I don't know if that's any
better! When I got sick, I had quit
smoking after many years. But, a year ago, I had started again.
I don't know if I am willing to
give it up now---again. I'm working on my belief system about
it. Belief systems are tricky and
not so true. Something, I'm mulling around in my head. You're
doing well. Hang tough and hang
in there. I have found through this illness some blessings.
May blessings 'rain' on you on your
path.
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Libraries
are on this row
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INDEX
Page 3
(Main Section, Medicine Wheel, Native Languages &
Nations, Symbology)
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INDEX
Page 5
(Sacred Feminine & Masculine, Stones & Minerals)
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Copyright: Cinnamon Moon & River WildFire Moon (Founders.)
2000-date
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