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Reading Advice

Readers Responsibilities

By SilverEagleDreamDancer

This thread grew out of the symbology discussion. I felt it would make a good thread of its own to start.

“I feel there's only one thing a reader is accountable for and that's being available for Spirit to pass the message. You aren't responsible for how it's received, what someone does with the information or whether they even believe you. Moving with integrity doesn't require you to take on that which you can't control. There are times you know a message will hurt.. but you can't know the persons path at the time or what their soul needs to evolve. That's up to them and Spirit.” Anyone else is welcome to add advice for new readers on the subject.

The only accountability is to the message. Accurate and honest presentation without embellishments. If there is a negative situation presented I tend to point out that based on the current perspectives the person is holding, and the choices they are making the outcome looks troublesome. That perhaps they could take a different approach and neutralize or enhance the situation. Then I share what guidance comes through so they have something to base their shifting perspective on.

Through detailed understanding in the messages we can highlight these things for them. I stay true to the message this way and the advice that comes through is always very helpful. See yourself as the handset on the phone and the message coming across the wire is something you have to convey. It's not you that's the source, you're just the transmission process. The person is responsible for what they do with that information, your responsibility begins and ends with conveying it.

As for symbolic representations, our Guides are mind readers. They telepathically tap our thoughts and will use them to convey the messages. It makes perfect sense to me that if you are a fan of Oz that they would show you Kansas to tell you this woman's name was Dorothy...star of the show! Use the symbols that speak to you in this way first, the universals last. Ultimately what things mean to us is most important.

While I read with cards I am also taking in sensory input from my Guides who flood me with impressions. Good and bad feelings, smells, sometimes words, it all plays together and I find a way to convey the feelings they give me so the person understands things better. It's all a part of the process and the more you open to it the more details you'll pick up.

Readings may not always make sense to us and that's a 50/50 issue in most cases. It doesn't matter though. Our job is to convey the message "as is" and let the person decide if they can use it or not. In most cases, even if we don't understand the message, the person receiving it will. If they don't they do soon after.

People also like to second guess events. It's always the first event to take place, often in an unexpected/unanticipated situation, and rarely do you see it being otherwise. So tell them to watch for the next turn of events. That keeps them alert and helps them accept the validation.

Finally, you will find people that want to hear what they want to hear. This is a difficult reading only because they will blame you for not getting what they want, or claim the reading to be *all wrong*, that kind of thing. Know that you need to disassociate from the blame. Deliver your message regardless and step out of the situation. It's no longer your responsibility once that message has been delivered.

Keep up the practice, trust what you get, and watch for your validation so your confidence grows. After decades of doing readings I'm trusting my cards and Guides way more than what people say. Intimate issues often come up and people get embarrassed. So make sure you stress confidentiality. If you share intimacies you ruin your own reputation. It won't matter how good you are if people can't trust you keeping their secrets safe.

What makes a bad reading? I didn't think there could be such a thing, maybe things are a little off, but never can you get a bad reading. That is until my Mother went to get one. I don't know the credibility of her reader but I will tell you how she felt. She felt belittled and like she didn't know how to handle her own life. Then she got very angry and decided to not trust any reader again. During her reading, the reader did not tell her anything she didn't already know, she preached to her and tried to tell her how to live her life, what she's doing wrong and what she should do to fix the things that she thought needed to be fixed.

This doesn't sound to me like messages from Spirit, but more like messages from an overconfident reader. Let's see what was my point.....Oh, how important it is too....

“I stay true to the message this way and the advice that comes through is always very helpful. See yourself as the handset on the phone and the message coming across the wire is something you have to convey. It's not you that's the source, you're just the transmission process.”

Tarot Readers and Spiritual Advisors are always dealing with negative press and reputation through those who are less than reputable taking advantage of people. Once burned twice shy and you often find yourself under that microscope. The best way I've found to counter that is to just be yourself, be honest, do the best you can and know that you can't do it all for the person seeking your help. All you can do is relate things as they are shown to you and if you do it with integrity no one can fault you. Honesty is always best. If I can't see something I tell them so. We aren't all-knowing, we're just humans tapping information to be shared and doing the best we can.

Lots of good advice here. Thank you. I find it a challenge when someone comes to me with their broken spirits sometimes I use the messages I get from spirit to help them without them knowing I am reading them. I keep this part of me very private so very few people know that I read. So when the broken hearted are sent my way I am shown what to say that will help them.

A few times the people I have helped knew I was a See'r but that’s not very often. I feel as if this is my calling. A "Spirit Healer " if you will. It’s very strange but when I am helping someone I become a part of what happened so I can see it firsthand sometimes even feel it. I have thought to myself, the thing most people have to say about their problems is "nobody knows how I feel" Spirit shows me how they feel. When they realize I know what they are feeling they open up and let the healing happen.

It’s very unique how different each of our gifts are but again how much they are the same.

A very interesting thread, indeed. So I decided to put my few cents to it lol. The problem I have with the people who come to me to get a reading usually expect me to look at the cards and tell them about their future in single detail. I always try to persuade them that tarot is not a crystal ball, not an oracle having answers to every single question.

We rule our lives and nothing is written in stone. Some things should remain unspoken, cos while we do not get them ourselves, there will be no point. However there are times when I see unavoidable events in my friends future, so when I see the bad is going to happen I try to prepare this person for this and look for the sources and the outcomes of this situation. Many times we pay a high price for our spiritual development, we suffer and we do not understand our pain, the point of doing a reading is to explain the purpose of the events which are happening, a need for such lesson, which will strongly benefit us in future.

As Cinnamon said we always need to be honest, I always say if I can't see anything, cos it happens often that the cards have no message for me, or the message is short and very concrete, and there is no point in draining.

Personally, I've found that the shorter messages are there because the person is not open to longer ones. If they are the cards will continue to flow with information and I can answer any question they ask me. No matter how many! But the one question that is never answered is the one that addresses "what is the universe going to do" when I see it working behind the scenes. My only answer to them then is that we are not shown so we stay out of our own way. That's why we're getting that help in the first place. All I can tell them is that it's working for or against the outcome they seek.

If I see something negative I will ask the cards what an alternative course of action would be to achieve a better outcome. I'm often shown alternatives. If the course remains the same I find it is indeed a lesson they need to experience.

Another issue that comes up a *lot* is the reading staying the same over repeated sessions or addressing the same issue regardless of the question asked.

When this happens I know the person is not receiving no matter what they claim to understand. They are not accepting the message. Then the guidance coming through will drill that message home. When they finally do accept it the message shifts and continues to unfold with additional information. I make that a very strong point at such times and I tell them when I can see they are ignoring things. 99% of the time they will admit to that too.

If a client is stubborn and wants a situation to change but will not take action to bring that change about or follow the advice given that situation tends to continue in their life until they relent. I have seen countless events that were supposed to happen in a few days or weeks take months for this very reason. As soon as the client takes the advice it moves again. So people do get in their own way and hold back progress. It's a lesson they need there too...one of trust.

As you work with people and they see validations coming through time and again they begin to develop a level of trust with you too. This makes other readings in the future go much better however they do have personalities and if you have one that is stubborn the pattern will continue until they choose to break it.

WolfSpirit UK:
Hi all, This is a very important thread to me right now...

I often worry I should not be saying some stuff - that I could be sounding like the reader Sunflower describes and the seeker could be saying this of me:

“She felt belittled and like she didn't know how to handle her own life. Then she got very angry and decided to not trust any reader again. During her reading, the reader did not tell her anything she didn't already know, she preached to her and tried to tell her how to live her life, what she's doing wrong and what she should do to fix the things that she thought needed to be fixed.”

My reaction is to put sensitive stuff as a question, but then I wonder if I am detracting from the message - making it sound unsure. I might try and give a number of options as to the meaning, and let the seeker figure out the correct one - but then I worry that the person will take this as they want to take it and not what I felt spirit was trying to tell them, thus confounding the seeker into feeling that they are justified in the action that they are taking that is causing them problems.

Cinnamon, I am very interested in what you said about alternative paths - if you were doing a card reading would this be by taking more cards - or purely asking our guides to put it another way - another example?

The point about symbology is very pertinent to me at the moment. I find spirit is showing me "people" i know who have walked a similar path to the person who i am reading for, to give me background on the path they have taken so far, that helps me get their spiritual signature.

"My reaction is to put sensitive stuff as a question, but then I wonder if I am detracting from the message - making it sound unsure."

Yes you are. I tell people that more often than not intimate details come to light to validate the readings I give. That they should know I hold them in strict confidence and their secrets are safe. People deny truths that bring embarrassments to them.

By posing questions on sensitive issues you may want to make it a lighter statement instead. "I feel this_________ in regards to _____________." This is usually your Guide/s washing you with sensation and showing you how the person is feeling so you can adjust it that way.

"I might try and give a number of options as to the meaning, and let the seeker figure out the correct one - but then i worry that the person will take this as they want to take it and not what i felt spirit was trying to tell them, thus confounding the seeker into feeling that they are justified in the action that they are taking that is causing them problems."

I think you're right in that assumption. It's like giving someone too many choices. "You pick" it's not about picking. It's about the message and you don't have to resolve the issue if that's not being made clear to you. You can see the times to advise when warnings or forewarnings come up. Free will gives us the option to change and make choices that will alter outcomes. I find that by saying "If you follow your current course and thought patterns I see the outcome being ________. I suggest if that is not what you're looking for that you seriously reconsider your options and rethink the actions you want to take. We can always look at things down the road for more guidance." That gives them permission to be in control as much as they possibly can.

"Cinnamon, I am very interested in what you said about alternative paths - if you were doing a card reading would this be by taking more cards - or purely asking our guides to put it another way - another example?"

Well by the example I just gave you and both of the theories you suggested. If more information is needed I keep pulling cards. A full reading from me utilizes the entire deck and I've had them go on to reshuffle and go through that deck 2-3 times or more. I go with what I feel is right there. So long as the person is receiving the messages the information and insight will continue to flow. There's a great example with the reading you did for Raven. It kept going and going and going. But that's because it was being received and worked with. Had it been a closed reception then the messages would have fallen flat.

"The point about symbology is very pertinent to me at the moment. I find spirit is showing me "people" I know who have walked a similar path to the person who I am reading for, to give me background on the path they have taken so far, that helps me get their spiritual signature."

Yes, our own lessons in life and those we've gained through observation are the guides by which we teach. It gives you that feel so you know how to respond to them.

Silver Eagle Dreamer:
I used to be a reader in Vegas where there, you have to be licensed - believe it or not! As you can imagine, there were a great many people with their shingles out as readers there (10 or more years ago btw) and very few that I felt were genuine. So I can smell a 'bad' reader a mile away.

Things to look for: - the money angle. I knew readers that would convince their clients that they had to come back in a week for a reading because they couldn't tell right then or would have more information then. (they tried to get me to do that - unsuccessfully) The other money trick was to engage the person in chit chat for a half an hour, read for a half an hour, have some BIG thing come up in the reading just as it was about to end so that they'd have to pay for more time to find out. The standard there were hour readings so they'd end up paying for another hour. Then if you could scare them into coming back next week.. you had a regular client. Turned my stomach!

One last money trick... not seeing until the client pays you more. I didn't even know this was an issue until I had a client that tried that on me. I really wasn't reading her... happens sometimes. You just don't have anything for ‘em. I told her I'd refund her money and she could try someone else if she wanted. She handed me 50$ and asked if I could see anything now. I showed her the door. And believe it or not - the place I hung my shingle wasn't too happy about it because she complained! I didn't work for them long, needless to say. The only reason I was there was because the place I loved to work at - with good readers and a nurturing environment - closed and I had to have a place to hang my license that was zoned. At the time, they were the only place. It was either work there or not at all.

Bad reader stuff #3 - same reading for everyone that comes in the door - but they don't know it. Yes, knew someone who did that too. Everyone that came to see him had an Indian guide over their right shoulder etc...

Bad readers bottom line is always, how do we keep the client interested or scared enough to keep paying. The saddest of all things - a few of them had genuine talent, from what I could tell but it never developed fully because what they were doing to keep clients became their primary motivation, not the clients welfare and growth - not their connection to Spirit. Money is important as it's the sole income of some in the biz.

That's how Spirit wants it for them. But it should never be the motivation in your relationship with a client. Be there for them and Spirit and the money will be there. Spirit will see to it. Then it grows from a healthy spiritual place.

Well said! Interesting gimmicks that people come up with. Being a full-time reader myself I see a lot of con games going on through the eyes of my clients. One advisor told one of my clients that she had a curse on her. For a mere $1600.00 (!!!) she would lift that curse. The money was just to cover the cost of a very rare crystal the woman would send my client on loan and when returned she'd refund the money. Yeah right! This woman was all set to have the curse lifted at that fee when she called me. I told her to go to the local herb shop, buy a smudge stick for under $5.00, and avoid this scam. Later we had a good laugh but at the time it was very serious stuff.

This kind of thing goes on all the time and it's what makes a lot of people shy away from the "psychic" label to begin with. These are talents we all have, all we have to do is trust in them and watch them grow strong. The sensory muscles atrophy from disuse and it takes exercising them to build them back up again. Most people take them on a superficial perspective, but when properly honored those muscles do grow and they grow strong and true.

Thank you SEDD, for the insights and the integrity with which you work. (Not that the integrity doesn't sparkle on its own. It sure does!)

Wolf Spirit, Please let me reassure you. I have been following your readings in the practice forum and think you are doing such a great job for a beginner. It is unbelievable to see you shine like you are. I do not see you falling into that category of readers that I described above. You are clearly delivering Spirit's message and you do not sound like a preaching therapist. You see, this reader was telling her things like she needs to eat well balanced meals, think more positively, let go of her negative qualities and stop her bad habits. And if she did all these things her life will improve. She also gave her a list of 16 names (David, John, Mary, etc.) of people who could influence her in the future. This is someone who is reading for the money and you have nothing to worry about in this department. I just thought I should clarify a bit so you'll know that this reader was not giving insight, but common knowledge and good odds.

Shine On Wolf Spirit

WolfSpirit UK:
Thanks Sunflower, I read your post and I did get a bit worried. I feel that the cards I read could ask us to look deeper into ourselves than some other cards - and some people may not want to do this - or it may feel like it is criticism of them - and reading your post it did occur to me that I could be doing exactly what your post was talking about - but now I can see the difference.

Thanks for putting up your post to me - it really helped that you feel I do not fall into that category! I have read back my readings after seeing your post and that was why I came back here and had a post myself. Yes this is new to me - more so the being on the net side - if a person is with you in person, body language helps you figure out if the message is being received and how it is being received. I suppose I am learning here to trust my guides to tell me what needs to be emphasized and what needs to be pulled back a little. I can see now that this is different than just giving someone general advice about stuff they could read about if they took the time - I take it the names your mother was given were just common names that could speak to anyone! I think this is why I work with the cards I do - they are very personal and the person can usually see where they come in. I am learning now to work direct with my guides a little more, without the cards, and I'll see how this goes! Should be interesting! Your post has alerted me to a few pitfalls of doing readings - and maybe that is not a bad thing! Thanks again Sunflower!:

Cinn, I think I will learn in time how to get things over - I have learnt already - and I have found myself using " I feel". I think your advice about showing the options is good advice in how to deal with stuff if the message is not getting through or if there is something I feel I need to emphasize. I will keep this in mind - also that there may be a need to look at more cards. This ties in with what the lady who runs the spiritualist center is always telling us - ask for more information - so yes, I can understand what you say. Thanks again Cinn!

You bet!

Greetings everyone! This was a nice lesson. Thanks everyone for sharing.

I feel it needs to be explained in further detail and talk about a little something called FREE WILL. I have been reading professionally as a psychic for sixteen years now. And the above quote from Silver Eagle Dreamer is very true. When you "read" for someone, you are merely the vessel for Spirit to express through. We have no control over what comes through in a session, and many times in my experience it may not be the answer a client wants to hear.

People have free will to make choices. That is the reason the Universe gave it to us in the first place. Circumstances and people do change because of their free will. We make decisions that alter the course we take and change the fabric of our lives. Free will reminds us to be very careful about what we choose and the actions we take out there in the real world.

There is a basic spiritual law that says we cannot impose or force our free will onto someone else. If we do that, we are imposing ourself onto another person and forcing them or circumstances to our favor. If this is done, you are interfering with the other party's free will and their right to choose. We cannot force someone to love you, marry you, give you things or create situations that will work solely to your advantage. We can wish circumstances or the situations are different. But, the bottom line here is there people have free will and can make their own individual choices. We may not like it or agree with it. IF you do force your will upon someone, keep in mind, someday somehow it will come back upon you.

Spirit and our guides have free will too. Many times, I have asked for answers to questions I may not get an immediate response to. It can be frustrating. But, as we all know, being on a spiritual journey, we work with timing. Not our normal sense of timing, but Spirit's timing. What our timeline is and what Spirit's timeline is are two completely different things. If we try to force the natural order of things- nine times out of ten, it won't work. If we don't get an immediate answer, that is Spirit simply saying let this unfold naturally or asking us to surrender the issue to them, so it can be worked out on a Higher level.

Free will comes down to several things. If you do not get an immediate answer to the questions you ask, listen to the silence, surrender the issue to it. Let it go and place it in the hands of the Universe to work itself out. Don't obsess over it-that is why it is called surrender-be open to whatever is the highest good for everyone concerned.. Normally when you do this, it will work itself out in short order and you will get an answer. Hang onto the issue, riding the emotional merry go round of the "what ifs" and any and every kind of block will find its way to the issue to block the natural flow of the Universe and an outcome being achieved..

Remember, you have free will and a choice! If you don't like your choice, the beauty is you can choose again. It is choosing to be open and allowing that helps free will manifest the desires of your heart to manifested into reality.

On that note- I will get off my soapbox now..

Blessed Be to you!

I didn't get to read the entire thread- but what I did read through I am just so impressed with! I have been reading professionally for years as well and I must say that everything you've all written here is so true and right and sacred to me-

Personal pet peeve of my own is going to a psychic who tells me things I already know

- I just can't see why anyone would want to go spend upwards of $50 and above for a reading to be told everything they already know. For me- I tend to focus on the "why" they wanted a reading and then make sure that people feel differently- then when they came to me. If that makes sense-I don't "try" to read for someone- If I feel Spirit... then I use whatever is at my disposal at the time... but if I don't feel Spirit- I won't just to tell them what they need to hear or anything like that either....

I'm just so very impressed with the ambiance I want to say but that probably isn't the right word...I'm really impressed with the truth I keep seeing in every and all topics I peruse...



Reading Advice

By SilverEagleDreamDancer

Something on my mind this morning I thought I would offer up here. We all like good news, happy information. But generally, when someone comes to you for a reading, it's not because their life is going well, it's because they have concerns - not made decisions that need to be made - or are looking for an ally for their position or actions. In general, someone will want a reading on what's considered to be the 'big three' - love, money, or career.

Now, there are times when the information you've been given to pass on isn't happy, rosey information and, given the reasons they came in the first place, is it any wonder? In fact, there are many times when you will be bearing a message that you can sense.. they don't want to hear but is beneficial to their growth. What do you do? Do you change it to something more palatable but still the same message or give it to ‘em straight up - as you got it from Spirit? Your answer will determine the level of integrity you read with and whether you truly care about the people you read for.

Cinnamon: Hi SEDD,
Good question! I'm afraid in my case there isn't a clear cut answer to that. I balance it with the energy signature of the individual. Some people are more unstable than others and need the softening, or perhaps they are too stubborn for the gentle approach and need a 2x4 swat. It varies according to the situation and I adjust going with the flow. It's become part of my method to do that over the years as I've come up against some doozies where people want to argue trying to hear what they want to hear rather than the truth. I've scolded like I would my own children with some, comforted others, and been blunt. It all depends. In any case, ethics and integrity still guide me and the message is never altered it's either softened, balanced, or strengthened and my Guides are right there to nudge me in those directions too.

One thing I've found that helps in delicate situations is to remind the person that they should not shoot the messenger, that all I can do is tell them what I'm shown and relate that in the best way I can. Sometimes clients will slam the phone down in my ear, some will cry, sometimes I cry with them, empathy is like that. But I always, always, always speak truth and what I'm shown.

Sometimes some very intimate and personal insights are given to me and I have to cushion that initial shock with a statement like: "Oh my, they're showing me some very private information, please know I keep this confidential, it's here to validate this portion of the reading for you. This is what they are telling me:__________." It helps a lot in most cases. I try to be as gentle with bad news as I can be, but sometimes you have to get out the hammer and nails too.

I think the ethics and integrity someone reads with are going to be guided by the same principles that they walk their path with. If you're honest with yourself you'll be honest with others and *do the right thing*. It will be interesting to see what others have to say about this. Maybe I should have waited to comment, but I'm here now and it's quiet for the moment so I took advantage of it!

Spiritually speaking, the experiences in life are lessons we all need and I'm always aware of the spiritual path a person is taking on some level. In the readings I see when and where the universe is at play, and explain that everything happens for a reason. If the news is really bad I will tell the individual what I'm able to share with them in that regard to help them embrace the situation for what it is. Often out of bad situations there is good that comes in the end.

If, let's say someone wants a specific love interest to come their way and it's not indicated to be happening, I will tell them it's about choices. They can choose selfishly to want to hold onto someone who doesn't want to be with them and live a lie, or they can choose to set that person and themselves free so they can both find the happiness they want elsewhere. It works in areas of money, career, or relationship issues very well to remind them they can choose the manner in which they react to their emotions.

You can't help everyone to grasp things either, all you can do is relate the reading to the best of your ability. What they do with the information is up to them, but I do offer spiritual advice at the same time so they are always directed back to Spirit for deeper insights. I feel that's number one and why Spirit directed their troubles to me in the first place. Those that are open to Spirit embrace it well, others open their eyes to the fact they need to find their faith again. Either way you touch a life in a good way.

hmmm....Interesting one SEDD. My inexperience hasn't really given me much opportunity to examine this, so I'm going by what has revealed itself to me so far.

First off, I trust that the information that comes, or even sooner, the card that comes, is indicative of the level of understanding and openness that the querrant has. So a card that acts as a portal to a harsher message, usually comes for a person who is ready to hear that harsher message. A more gentle message will come for a person who is working through the deeper issue one layer at a time, and needs to build up confidence first before looking through the other layers...

Sometimes I will feel the anxiety, grief or anger which I believe is from the querrant, and will acknowledge what I am feeling... validating the intensity of their emotions. So far I've noticed it helps to bridge the gap between what they want to hear, and that which they are presented with by Spirit.


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